Ho hum...

I woke up this morning all excited to find out what my new work schedule was and to find out who had been named the assistant manager. So, before I even got out of bed this morning, I sent a text message to my boss, B, to remind him to do something that he needs to remember to do outside of work. We're friends as well as boss/employee, and this particular reminder is kind of a running joke between us, but it is really important that he remembers to do this task every morning.

Here is our text convo from this morning:

Me: Mornin' sir! This is your weekday reminder. Did you remember already? I bet you did!

B: I did. You want to work anything today? [Gives some potential hours.]

Me: Good job! I will have to check on childcare and let you know. So when are you making new schedules?

B: This week. (This week's schedule technically began at 7am today, and he has yet to create the schedule.)

Me: [Hubby]'s mom wants to know what my new schedule is. Whether its days or evenings or whatever. I tried to explain but it didn't help.

B: I just don't know yet kiddo. Still a few days off. (He often calls me "kiddo" or "miss" though I am neither one of those - I am four years older than he is, for crying out loud!)

Me: Thought you were naming asst manager today?

B: Couple days still.

Me: What happened? You told [HRD-L] that you were naming today. So plan on same schedule this week as last? [List of hours]

B: Perfect. Yeah just let me know on today.
B: Haven't decided yet.

So, more waiting. Have I ever mentioned that I'm not a patient person? I mean, I really really try to be a patient person. I do. But I lack at it. Big time. Especially on big things like this. It's hard. Every time that I need to wait and be patient is simply another opportunity for me to perfect my ability to do so. And trust me - I need lots and lots of practice!

Goal 2: Make a Commitment to Daily Prayer

I love this goal and I am excited about doing it. I often do this while I am waking up. Nothing like having a nice conversation first thing in the morning before I even get out of bed. I haven't started the day yet, no one else is (usually) up, the house is quiet, nothing else has distracted me or anything like that. It is my time with Him and I love it!

While I may share a few items here and there along with my weekly goal posts, I may just indicate that I have done my daily prayers. Something along the lines of: Daily Prayer, check. Or if I get really fancy (and learn how to do it!) I may even have the check mark symbol in front of the item. I have a feeling that my weekly blog entries are going to look a little bit like a checklist of things to do...

Sunday (10th)
Daily Bible reading - check.
Daily prayer - check.
Dishes clean - check.
Little bathroom clean - check.

Monday (11th)
Daily Bible reading - check.
Daily prayer - check.
Dishes clean - check.
Little bathroom clean - didn't get it done.

...so on and so forth. Actually, I kind of like that idea. It will keep me accountable. I can go in and create the post and then set it up to publish at the end of the week and I can simply update it each weekday with my check mark, comment or whatever the case may be. Hmmm...new project for the day! Cool!

Goal 1, Week 2

You can read the first part of this post here. This is the list for Week Two of my goal for a Bible Reading Plan.

January - Week Two

10 - The Sons of Noah ... (Genesis 9:18-9:29)
11 - The Table of Nations ... (Genesis 10:1-10:32)
12 - The Tower of Babel ... (Genesis 11:1-32)
13 - The Call of Abram ... (Genesis 12:1-12:20)
14 - Abram and Lot Separate ... (Genesis 13:1-13:18)
15 - Abram Rescues Lot ... (Genesis 14:1-14:24)
16 - God's Covenant With Abram ... (Genesis 15:1-15:21)

Weekly Accountability Post 1

This is my accountability post for the first week of 2010. Well, technically for the first nine days of 2010. For this first post, I just want to make account for the goals that I set to see what I have accomplished, what needs work and to leave myself a record.

Week One:

1 - The Beginning ... (Genesis 1:1-2:3)

(1/2) I did not read this on January first. I got caught up on blogging and reading blogs and I put it off for the next day. Not exactly the way that I had planned on doing my first day of my first new goal, but my plan was to get it done on the second, and I did.

2 - Adam and Eve ... (Genesis 2:4-2:25)

(1/2) After reading "The Beginning," I went straight on to "Adam and Eve." The things that impressed on me today while reading this was the huge role that man was given from God. I mean, in the previous passage, it essentially summarizes all that God did during His time of creating. But this particular passage really goes into detail what happened on that sixth day of creation. I know, not a huge eye-opener, but it just really stood out to me today. Nearly every time I read different passages, different things really stand out for me. I think that's how we work towards understanding the text.

3 - The Fall of Man ... (Genesis 3:1-3:24)

(1/3) The one thing that stood out to me in this reading (and it may be because of a recent conversation that I read online) is that God specifically commands Adam to work the ground and that he will eat the plants of the ground. Recently, there has been a discussion about whether or not we are supposed to eat any animals. It is one thing that I will keep in mind while I am reading and see what the answer is. From this passage alone, it would seem that we (Adam and his descendants) are to eat plants from the ground. And fruit from trees as well. No mention yet on eating animals though.

4 - Cain and Abel ... (Genesis 4:1-4:26)

These two brothers remind me so much of the attitudes currently present in two of the brothers living in our home. I need to pray about this and have guidance on how to shape these boys' hearts for God. Hmmm...quite the assignment.

5 - From Adam to Noah ... (Genesis 5:1-5:32)

I know that these passages of genealogy are important ones to show the connections between creation and the birth of Jesus but at the same time, I know that I am not getting as much out of them as I probably should be. Anyone else find that they have this same problem?

6 - The Flood - Part 1 of 3 ... (Genesis 6:1-6:22)

God gave Noah very specific instructions on what he was supposed to do. I must admit that I wish God would sometimes give me instructions which are that specific. Although, I suppose He does. I'm reading His instructions now...

The other thing that stood out to me in this passage was that God instructed Noah to build this ark just after having decided to limit our lives to 120 years. Noah was old enough to have sons who were old enough to be married. So, he was probably 40ish or so (assuming Noah was married when he was 20 and his sons were just recently married, also at 20...) Building this ark would be no small feat to accomplish. But Noah was faithful and honored God's command. No wonder he was the only one who found favor with God. And how fortunate for his sons and their wives that they were favored simply by their father. Noah was a good man. Yet, we read so little of him. I wonder why that is.

7 - The Flood - Part 2 of 3 ... (Genesis 7:1-7:24)

Okay, I must admit that I am confused. In the previous passage, God was angry with man and said that he would number their days to 120 years. But in this passage, it says that when Noah was 600 years old that God created the flood. I don't want to make any assumptions but maybe Noah was already many years older than I previously thought when he received the command to build the ark. I cannot imagine someone in their seventies building this ark, much less in their five hundreds. And also to ask Noah to give up all of his friends and other family. Brothers and sisters and their families as well. Although back in chapter two, it did say that a man would leave his mother and father. So I suppose in Noah's case, it meant that he would REALLY leave them. Wow. How hard a request to grant, I'm sure. But Noah was committed to doing exactly what God asked, hence his status as the only one worth saving on all the earth.

8 - The Flood - Part 3 of 3 ... (Genesis 8:1-8:22)

Noah waited patiently (beyond patiently in my opinion) for God to tell him to come out of the ark. He didn't try to rush it, he just waited. He knew that God would remember him. You never read about Noah questioning God's faithfulness or lacking trust in God's plan. Even though what God asked Noah to do was incredibly difficult. Noah received instruction, obeyed, was patient and was rewarded. It seems so simple.

The one other thing in here that really stood out was Genesis 8:21 "The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done." The middle of that verse in particular "...every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood" That rather goes against what I had always thought of children being innocent. I mean, my own children are not innocent by any means. But to say that every inclination of their hearts are evil...hmm...that's quite the statement. I guess from God's perspective, absolutely. His standards for evil and righteous are so much more than our's are. So, from childhood, our hearts are rooted in evil. I guess that makes sense. That is why we needed Jesus. It isn't like we suddenly become in need of our Savior at age ten or whatever. We are in need of Him from our creation. Kind of a hard pill to swallow there, but I do understand it.

9 - God's Covenant With Noah ... (Genesis 9:1-9:17)

God gives Noah the entire earth. Noah is commanded to eat plants. He is also commanded to not eat meat that still has its lifeblood in it. So, that begins to answer my question from earlier this week about not eating meat. From my interpretation of this passage, we can eat meat that has been fully cooked only. God also made his covenant with Noah at this time and with all of the earth as well. Thank you to both of them...God and Noah both...for this covenant.

Interview!!!

I had my interview for the assistant manager position today. It went fairly well, I think. It took FOREVER, but part of it is because B and I get off on tangents and end up talking about other stuff here and there.

I had told him on Monday that I thought I had 0.6% of a chance of getting the job. He said, "Not even a whole percent? Oh come on now, Miss. You need to give yourself more credit that that! I'd give ya at least 5%."

Cool. I'm at 5% before the interview even starts. During the course of the interview, he tells me "I'd say that you have 5%, CA has 5%, and then CJ and CR can split the other 80%" That equals up to 90%. I give him a look, trying to figure out if he's trying to indicate something else. He catches my look and says, "That doesn't add up to 100, does it?" I tell him no and ask him if CA and I can split the other 10% then. He says, "No, if anything, I'd say CA still gets 5%, you can have the 15%, and CJ and CR can still have the other 40% apiece. Although, actually, I guess it'd be more like 45 and 35. One of them made me really mad. You never do..." (x,y,z) "and expect to get away with it." I'm not quite following the thought, so I say, "I didn't do (x,y,z) did I?" He said, "No. I'm not mentioning names but it did happen today and it wasn't you." Process of elimination would mean that it was CJ. Okay. So, at this point the score is CA - 5, me - 15, CJ - 35, CR - 45 = 100. Cool enough. I can handle that.

The interview continues. He tells me, "Well Miss, you're surprising me. I'd say you're at 33 and a third now. And we only have 3 applicants." I look at him funny again. Three? A little bit ago, there were four. He looks at me and notices the look again. "There's four. I forgot about CA. She is so not going to get the position. I keep forgetting about her. Although maybe she will surprise me and end up getting it. Who knows?"

Interview goes on a bit longer. The personnel director from the main office calls. He talks to her about the position. He talks to her about me. While I'm sitting there in the office with him. It's good. It sounds very good. "Well, I had one interview today. She was a long shot but she's really impressive. Only been with the company for two weeks." pause while HRD-L speaks, "Yeah, I know. All of our applicants are still in their probationary period yet." Technically all but CA...but he doesn't tell HRD-L that...but then again, he keeps forgetting about CA.

After his conversation with HRD-L, we end the interview. He ends the interview by telling me, "Well, I'd say it's pretty much just between you and CR now." Then he gets a sly grin and says, "Although maybe I should just pick CA and (mess) you all over." Parenthesis and word in the middle are mine.

So, I think the interview went pretty well overall. Sounds like it is pretty much between me and CR. CJ and CA are long shots, but then again, I was the longest of the long shots. I was the one who encouraged CA to apply in the first place when B was first accepting applications. I had been rooting for CR the whole time, and encouraging CR and CJ individually while we were working shifts together. I am totally okay with CR getting the position. I don't think CJ has some of the major qualities necessary for an assistant manager. And I think CA is too young and immature for the job. But those are just my own personal opinions. No matter who is named the assistant manager, I will respect them, and I will respect B's decision about the matter. My top choice is CR, next CJ, then CA. I don't know where I put myself on that list though. I just don't really see it as a real possibility. I looked at the whole interview as a practice session for later on when I am a real candidate and as a confidence booster too. :) It was nice to know that my manager thinks that highly of me and my work performance.

What a Challenging Day

Ever have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong? Today was that day for me. This morning, I got Mike up and off to work and the boys out the door with Mike to go back to school. I laid in bed for a while longer, just enjoying our new sheets (microplush that we got for Christmas from my mother-in-law) and then when I finally got up, I got the little two ones up, dressed and ready for the day. Once I had accomplished all of that, I sat down to use the computer. It had a blue screen on it. For those of you don't know, a blue screen on a computer is a bad, bad sign. I restarted the computer. Blue screen. I restarted and tried to go into last known good configuration. Blue screen. Restart. Safe mode. Blue Screen. Restart. Safe mode with networking. Blue screen. Restart. Safe mode with command prompt. Blue Screen. Shut off. Say a number of words in my head that are not desirable or polite. Picked up the phone and called Hubby. He verbalized my thoughts. He didn't know what to do other than have me bring it in to him. I called his techie mentor, J. J told me to bring it in. So, I got things ready to go. Went outside to put the tower in the car. Tried to start the car. No luck. Tried again. Still no luck. I didn't fill up the tank yesterday at work, so the gas gauge shows that the level is just above empty. Most likely my fuel line is frozen. Argh. Way to go, self! Go back inside to call Hubby and ask him to come get me. I can take him back to work and then use the van until the fuel line thaws out. He makes plans to come home and pick me up.

I go out and try repeatedly to get the car to start. Eventually, it does! I rush back inside to call Mike so I can let him know that he doesn't need to come get me after all. His co-worker who is covering for him, JL, says that he left awhile ago and that he is probably almost here. I go outside to wait for him and he shows up within minutes. We discuss the vehicle and quickly run through the day's plans. Hubby follows me to the gas station so I can fill up the car. While we are there, we grab some lunch (there is a pizza place inside the gas station.)

We leave from there, with Mike following me. He tries to honk at me when we are approaching 33rd Street to signal to me that he is going to turn. I don't realize it until I'm a block past the turn but decide to use 27th Street anyhow. Hubby sometimes likes to try a different route to see if he can get somewhere before I do. I continue down to 27th Street, which is the street he works on - just far north from where I was at that point. Once I am within a little over a mile from his work, I can see that there is an accident on the bridge on 27th Street, and traffic is being redirected on to a side street and rerouted to 33rd Street. I go with the traffic and at 33rd Street, the traffic is incredibly backed up. There is a two block wait to turn left onto 33rd Street. I decide to take 32nd Street back up to another main road. I'm driving along, the snow is covering the street and is packed down and glazed over. My car starts to slide straight sideways. There's a van parked on the side of the street and I know that I'm going to hit it. I can't do anything to keep from hitting it though. My front driver's side quarter panel and the van's connect. I get out and check the damage. I can't tell how bad it is. I get back in my car and back up. I hear tearing of my car. I get free from the van and get out of my car to look again. All the damage is to my car. That's a good sign. I crunched my car pretty bad, but at least I didn't hurt the van. And my wheel wasn't damaged so the car should still be drivable too.

I go up to the house that the van is parked in front of. The lady comes to the door and I explain what happened. She tells me that this portion of this street is terrible after a snow. I have already deduced that one on my own, but I appreciate her understanding. It's not her vehicle though. The van belongs to her neighbor across the street. She has hit that particular vehicle three times in the last 24 years that they have been neighbors. I'm not really sure what to do with that information, but it does make me feel a bit better (and a bit worse as well). I trek over to her neighbor's house and explain what happened again. Maybe now would be a good time to mention the fact that it was cold outside. Really, really cold. The high today was 11 degrees and it was windy so it felt much, much colder than that. I think at the point that the accident occurred, it was around 2 degrees with about a -10 degree windchill. Brrr!!!!

The lady comes out and we assess the damage and exchange information. I head over to the gas station and call Hubby at work. I tell him what happened. He says to go ahead and drive the car out to him the rest of the way. I am so shaken at this point that I don't even want to get behind the wheel again. Plus, the car actually belongs to my mother-in-law and father-in-law. Title, insurance, all that is in their names. So, I brace myself and head to Hubby's work. I get onto 33rd Street. I get to another main road (the last main road before the one that I actually want to use) and I get rerouted (AGAIN!) - this time back to 48th Street. Seriously? So, I get onto 48th Street, head north until I get to the other main road that I was working to get to in the first place. I turn and get back to 27th Street without incident and head up to Hubby's work. What an ordeal. It usually takes 20 minutes to get from our house to his work. It took me almost two and a half hours. Aye!

So I get there, Hubby goes out and takes a look at the damage, says that he will drive it to his parent's house so that they can see it and so he can pick something up from them. I hang out for awhile because I'm scared to drive. I also call the insurance company and then my mother-in-law. Scary calls, but both ended up being fine and mostly painless. I knew that I had to head out soon to go get the boys from school, and that Ii'm not going to have time to get everything done that I had planned on doing today, so I call my boss and let him know that I had been in an accident earlier and that I had planned on getting my promotion request in to him today, but the accident took a good chunk of time out of my day. He says not to worry about it and that he'll get it from me tomorrow. The deadline is today though, so I'm still slightly stressed out about it. But I'd rather not have the promotion (which I highly doubt that I'll get anyhow) than have frostbitten children, so I head over to their school to pick them up.

I get them from school, then stop at home to pick up my mom and the little ones. My mom got a call from her new landlady and the apartment was approved, so we can go over there and she can sign her lease and pay her money so that she can move in. Yay! I'm really happy for her!

I pick them up, we head over to my work to see if the manager is still there. He is, so I head inside and get my application for promotion turned in. In the meantime, my mom and all four of my children come into the store. My manager is kind of...what would the word be...kidaphobic? He doesn't much like kids. My kids were well-behaved in the store though and all went well.

So then we head over to my mom's new place so she can go in and talk to her lady. I wait. In the van. With four kids. Who have already been in the van for awhile. It's not pleasant. My friend, G, calls. Girlie loves this G girl. G asks me if I can give her a ride to work. I say sure. I try to call my mom at the landlady's number, but get no answer. Knowing my mom, I figured if I left, ran over to G's house, picked her up, took her to work, dropped her off and then came back, my mom probably wouldn't even notice. I was right. G and I had a chance to talk too, which was nice because I hadn't seen or talked to her in about two weeks or so.

So, I get back to my mom's new place. And we wait. I call the lady's number. My mom says it will be maybe another half an hour. Time freezes. Say what? ANOTHER half hour? She'd been in there for an hour and a half already. No way. I tell her that the kids are getting restless and that I can't wait that long (not to mention the whole gas factor in the van). I can't turn the van off because it's too cold outside to not have the heater on. She talks to her lady and she ends up coming out within ten minutes.

We head home. I drop my mom and my four kiddos off. Then I head back over to the inlaw's house to face the music. I don't want to, but I know I need to. I shouldn't have been so worried though. It really wasn't that bad. My mother-in-law at one point did ask me though, if I thought maybe I was going too fast for the conditions. I was going at a top speed of 15. I don't think that was too fast. She let it go. I was kind of surprised. My inlaw's have very ultra high expectations of me, which is fine most of the time. Except for when I mess up. Then it's really really bad usually. What would be a minor mistake for most people has the potential to become earth-shattering. But this time, it wasn't so bad. What a relief!

So, this is my own version of a "horrible, no good, very bad day". The end. Breathe!

Communication

Hubby and I just got done having a disagreement. We have discovered that since welcoming extra people into our home, our ability and willingness to communicate openly and honestly has been compromised. It was a slow progression, but it has happened. And, of course, to be able to come to this realization, we had to have a disagreement. It was a large one that encompassed many, many issues (all of which were valid and needed to be dealt with) but man! Talk about exhausting! Basically the format was something along the lines of blaming each other for this and for that and going back and forth through it and giving reasons (valid reasons on both sides) of why it was the other person's fault, etc. Not exactly productive in and of itself...but we have come to the conclusion that we need to sit down and have a serious discussion about what we each expect of each other, what we expect of ourselves and other various things like that. Right now, our house and everything that happens in it is kind of ... well, I guess for lack of a better term, it's like a free-for-all. Which doesn't work. For our marriage, for our parenting, for our house, for our home, for any of us. It just doesn't work. And if you are curious as to why I chose to write "for our house, for our home" it was because I meant two different things. This free-for-all doesn't work for our house as a structure, because the things that need to get done, just aren't getting done when or how they are supposed to. This free-for-all doesn't work for our home either, because our home is the environment that we make inside of our house. The love, the respect, the values, the sense of family, of togetherness...you know? And this hasn't been conducive to that either. So I think we will have be having a sit-down long discussion sometime in the very near future, in which we will come up with a temporary solution to the many issues that presented themselves tonight. Right now, there are so many things up in the air, it's hard to make a long-term solution for us because we know that very soon so many things will be changing. So if we can come up with a short-term solution to get us through this time until the things that are up in the air settle down a bit, everything will work better, flow easier, and will provide the atmosphere that we are longing for and needing to have.

In case anyone is wondering, the things that are up in the air at the moment are: my mom's residence (waiting to see if she got this new place, getting her moved out of our home, etc), the kids' schedules with school and childcare, my mother-in-law's schedule for taking care of the kids (aka, she's our childcare provider), my (temporarily) inconsistent work schedule...I mean, there's a lot of things that we just need to wait for. We will know more about my mom's residence tomorrow. We already know about the kids' school schedules, but not the childcare schedule exactly, because of my fluctuating schedule. We will know more about my work schedule once a new assistant manager is named. If I am named the new assistant (which I'd say was about a 0.1% chance - but my boss told me to apply for it anyhow) I would be working 3-11 Wednesday through Sunday. Not my most ideal situation, but it could work. But once again, not a likely probability. Depending on who is named assistant manager, I may end up being able to get the hours I would prefer to have (Monday through Friday, 7 am - 3pm), but there's ZERO guarantee of that happening. Many, many possibilities. But for now, I'm working a mix of hours that can fluctuate between four to twelve hour shifts, and which can take place any day of the week from any time between 7 am and 11 pm. So yeah, lots of uncertainty.

One thing that would be wonderful if you'd be willing to pray for would be for Hubby and I to be able to effectively communicate with each other during this time. And also for our hearts and our minds to be softened towards each other. Sometimes when things are tough, we tend to harden our hearts and hold on to old habits, old hurts and old perceptions. Which not only does not help in the here and now, but it really hinders progress as well. We could both use your prayers in that respect.