Monday, January 18, 2010

A Bit Off...

I am feeling a bit off today. I think it has to do with the fact that tomorrow is Boy A's 9th birthday and we will not hardly see him at all that day, due to our work schedules. The kiddos will be heading over to my mother-in-law's house around 6:30 in the morning and they won't be home again until 5:30 on Wednesday. That's a LONG time!

I'm also feeling a bit off because although we got a lot of housework done yesterday, there still remains a fair amount to do and tensions are high. Hubby is not as supportive of my blogging as he once was, because it takes too much time. He says that it is a bit hypocritical of me to have a blog called "Organizing Amid the Chaos" when I am not doing any organizing or "lifting a finger around the house." I do see where he's coming from. He sees this blog, knows the blog title, and assumes that because I have a blog entitled "Organizing Amid the Chaos" that the house will suddenly and miraculously be completely cleaned and organized. Okay, I guess that I threw some sarcasm in there as well. I almost edited it out and rewrote it, but decided not to. That is my true reaction to it, but I do see where he is coming from, even if my reaction is not the one of love and acceptance that I wish came so readily to me.

I do feel like he expects it all to just happen quickly and easily - even if I am not home to do it. Even if I am working and volunteering many hours. I know what needs to be done. I know that I have not put as much time and effort into it as I am able. I do, selfishly, enjoy time to relax after work as well as other priorities. No, I'm not perfect, and I don't claim to be. I do want to get stuff done around the house, but I do not want to do it in lieu of time to relax, to be with the kids, to have time with Hubby, to work...I don't want to spend my days as a slave to the house, to Hubby, to the kids, to work. It's a matter of balancing it all. And lately, the balance has been uneven. Work and volunteering has been taking up the largest chunk of my time, followed by time with Hubby, time with the kids, relaxing and then cleaning has gotten short-changed lately.

Saturday and Sunday, I was so stiff and sore from working such long hours, that I could barely move. Sunday was a bit of an improvement over Saturday though, because I was more able to move and I didn't have to work as long of a shift. We were even able to spend some time with family friends, C and M, to celebrate Boy A's birthday a little bit early, and to also have some time playing cards with them. C and I won the game by the way. I'll share the score card with you all in a bit, if you are interested in seeing it. C and I came from WAY behind to win the Pitch game.

C and I were the "We" team and Hubby and M were the "They" team, as I was the one keeping score. We came back from quite the deficit! But win or lose, we all just love to play!

Back to the "off" now though. I know, no transition, but that's where my mind went, my fingers (and now your eyes) are following suit. Today, Hubby and I discussed the rearranging that is going to be happening very soon in our house. We were going to work on it today, but unfortunately, that did not happen. The soonest it can happen now is Friday. I work a half-day on Friday and then Hubby has an actual two-day weekend next weekend so we will have LOTS of time to get things rearranged this coming weekend. I still hope to get as much as possible done tonight though.

Yesterday, we got quite a bit of the housework done. Both bathrooms are clean, the living room is done, the family room and kitchen are much improved. All the rooms could still use a further cleaning job, but that will come soon. At this point, we wouldn't be (too) terribly embarrassed to have people come in if they were to stop over unannounced. There is still a lot of clutter in the family room and that will remain until we get some of the other work done. You know, Step 1 has to come before Step 2, which has to come before Step 3, etc. Well, the family room declutter is somewhere around Step 98 on a 100-Step list.

It also doesn't help matters that because the kids have been gone at my mother-in-law's house a lot lately and we now experiencing some discipline issues at home. It often happens that way. It's not that there is anything done or not done when they are at their grandparents. I think it is just a matter of kids who enjoy time at their grandparents' house and they push the limits when they get home. I think it's normal child behavior. But I don't know for sure. I remember doing it when I was a kid. Mind perfectly for my grandma when I was at her house and then when I got home, I remember acting up a lot. I don't remember why exactly, but I do remember doing it.

And I hate to admit it, but I have taken to scolding and raising my voice at the kids lately as well. I hate to raise my voice, and I hate to yell. I will do it, mind you, but I don't think it's teaching the kids the right message. Plus, it hurts my throat. I'm a very quiet individual by nature. I would prefer to simply talk with the kids. I'm more of a "Gentle Discipline" type of parent myself. But Hubby is not, and neither is my mom or his mom. Hubby, his mom and my mom all rule more by fear than by expecting true respect from the kids. I feel like I am often fighting an uphill battle in the parenting arena.

Boy C has also been highly reactive to something in his diet. I don't know for sure what it is, but it's happening again, and I feel like we are on a downhill slope to him getting very reactive soon. The more reactive he is, the harder the problem becomes to deal with. When I was at home with him full-time or nearly full-time, I was able to keep him virtually unreactive. But he has been reacting more and more lately. I don't know what to do about it, other than stay home. Everyone else who cares for him knows the do and don'ts of his food restrictions and everyone claims to follow them. But someone, somewhere along the line (and yes, it could even be me) is giving him something that he is reacting to, and a reactive tummy makes for a fussy toddler.

Mother-in-law is also wanting to have Boy C re-evaluated for Speech. He does have a deficit in that department, and in fact, that is where his biggest deficit is right now. He has been showing improvements, but mother-in-law does not feel it is enough of a change or a quick enough change and so she is going to try to pull some strings to get him re-evaluated. I don't mind. If she is able to get him re-evaluated, that is fine. I'm planning to wait until next week when I have a visit with our home-based teacher, JW, to see what she has to say about it. We spoke briefly before and she has some things to discuss with me anyhow, so we will see what happens with it.

I could go on and on about the things that feel "off" right now, but I have to stop. The kids are not wanting to go to bed for Hubby and he's losing his patience with them (and I am losing my patience with the kids and with Hubby - and really, it's just because I'm feeling like "my" time is being infringed upon.) I really need to work on that!


  1. Hang in there, hon. I know it's tough sometimes to balance everything but remember that it doesn't have to be done all at once. Make some small changes and see if that helps. Run some hot soapy water in your sink and as you cook, drop your pans and such in it so they can soak while you eat..take 15 minutes each night and do a general tidy in the rooms you've already cleaned. It's amazing what you can do in 15 minutes. Swish & Swipe your bathroom before you leave it in the morning and it will stay clean without you even noticing. If you need some help, don't hesitate to drop me a line. I'm a willing ear and always willing to help/listen.


  2. Thanks Katie! You are so wonderful! It's been a really off week. Thankfully, not off like Monday was off, but off none the less...things will settle down beginning tomorrow since after 11am, I will then have five days in a row off from work. Although, immediately following that is eight days of work, but in a much more manageable time frame for our family.

  3. Keep your head up Deanne! We all have our "issues".
    I also know the whole speech delay game - my twin boys both have speech apraxia. We are very lucky that they are now in a preschool program for delayed kids, 5 days a week, with 3 speech therapy sessions a week. It is tough with all the frustration about not being able to communicate, but I always remember, "this too shall pass". And it will.
    I hope the rest of your week is going better...