Friday, January 29, 2010

Time For Me Thursday

Well, my thing for tonight was joining in on a Cribbage tournament. That was a lot of fun! My manager, B, has played on this league for twelve years now. His team needed a sub for tonight and possibly a long-term sub to replace another teammate. I had never played Cribbage in a league, but it was easy to understand. All the standard rules of the game apply. A team is made up of five members. A play plays against each member of the opposite team once. If you win, you get two points. You get three points for a skunk and no points if you lose. Out of five games, I won two, so I had four points. They also keep track of pegged scores, and I had something like 567 points there, which averages out to about 113 points per game. There are 121 points in game, so really not bad at all. The team I was playing on was ranked second going in to the games tonight, and if my manager’s calculations are correct, we will be number two next week. I have even been invited back to play next week! Yay!

The other thing that was really cool about tonight was that my first game was against a very well-known reporter for our local newspaper. She’s kind of a celebrity in my book. She also beat the heck out of me in our game against each other. Afterwards, we were chatting while waiting for the players to my right to finish their game so that I could move on to the next game, and she mentioned that she was a writer. I was like, “I know! I really enjoy your writing. I have to admit that I’m a fan.” I was totally trying to be cool about it but I was nervous too. And she was awesome about it. She said, “oh! Well, you should have told me that before we started playing. I’d have let you win.” Haha! I love it!

But honestly, I really like her writing style. She has a very human-interest approach to her writing. Well, really that is what most of her articles are, but she just has a certain tone that I really enjoy reading. To be honest, she’s quite inspiring to me as a writer. If she has a piece in the paper, 95% of the time, I will read it.

I also worked today. That was fine. We have a new guy and today was his first day. My assistant manager, King J, as he likes to be called (LOL!) was the one who was supposed to be training this new guy on the register, but I was the one who ended up doing a lot of the register training. It was cool though. Manager B said that it was cool, and that I did okay. He said that he trusts me enough to train someone else – training is the job of the manager and assistant managers. Plus, did I mention that I have only been there for a month now? Well, a month and a week. That is not a lot of time. But he thinks I am good enough to train another employee and I’m cool with that. It’s a real pat on the back.

I worked today and I still have another seven days to work before I get a day off. That kinda stinks, but eh..after that, it is four day work weeks, three day weekends. Set schedule. Easy rollin’. Plus, my hours will be really close to Hubby’s hours so it will work out really well that way also.

I think I had mentioned that Hubby was talking about homeschooling the kiddos beginning this fall. Anyhow, I had made a call about it yesterday, requesting information and it came today, so my next step will be to read through it and see what all the requirements are and such stuff. I don’t know how we would work out homeschooling the kids when I have to work during the day and so does Mike. I mean, we could easily have someone watch them during the day and school in the evening and on the weekends, but I’m not sure that MIL (my mother-in-law) would be supportive of that. In fact, I know that she wouldn’t be supportive of it. But at this point, I’m not sure what we are thinking for next year. And who knows, maybe I will end up working third shifts again or something like that (which I might add – work out beautifully for our family – apart from the fact that I, well, I like to sleep with my husband at nighttime, ya know?) But anyhow, it’s a ways off and we’ll just have to see what happens between now and then.

I also went shopping for a laptop case for my new laptop tonight. First off, laptop cases are EXPENSIVE! But I did find a really cute, simple, brown and pink case for myself. It even came with three other cases – an accessory case (supposed to be for the power cord but could totally be for make-up and such related items), a camera case, and a flash drive case (which can hold either two flash drives, two SD cards or a combination of the two.) It is very cool and the bag could totally double as a purse. This is a bag that I would definitely carry all the time – with or without my laptop in it. I really like it. I’ll have to take a picture of the bag and upload it to share with you all. It even has some nice storage pockets inside of it and slotted pockets for credit cards and such.

I had hoped to find one for Hubby, but all the laptop cases at the store where I went were pretty feminine. Hubby’s favorite color is pink but I don’t know that I’m really all about him carrying around a pink and brown laptop purse. Ya know? It just doesn’t seem comfortable to me. I am going to go back out tomorrow and see if I can find him a more masculine or at least a basic laptop case. Not a purse, and no flowers or girly colors. I have in mind for him a messenger style bag in black. I love messenger bags myself, and almost held out for one instead of my laptop purse, but I decided that this purse was just too perfect to pass over, so I got it.

But anyhow, it’s late. Really really late for me. I’m usually in bed by around ten o’clock or so, and it’s already after eleven at night. Morning is going to come real early tomorrow. Well, technically, it always comes early, but tomorrow, it will be particularly early, so I am going to end this for now and will post it early tomorrow morning when I get online. Right now I am working on my laptop in a word document. Goodnight all! Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Tackle It Tuesday

It's been awhile since I've posted a Tackle It Tuesday and this is the first time I'll be doing it on this blog. I have a number of things that I want to tackle today. Probably the first of which is getting my family room back in order. I started the job yesterday, but then the day went downhill and I chose not to keep at it. The good side of that is that now there is not as much to do in it. Our family room is our family's main entrance to our home and it also ends up being the place where things often get put down and left and forgotten about (or ignored.) So my tackle for today is to get this room back into shape...possibly minus scrubbing the crayon/marker/pencil/pen/whatever off of the wall. I'm not sure what I want to do about that. Whether it would be better to clan it or just wait and paint it. Guess it will depend on how ambitious I am today.

Tonight, our tackle will be filing our taxes with our wonderful and beautiful tax professional, VK. Will definitely have to take pictures of both tackles today and share them. We love VK. I have been trained as a professional tax preparer, but even though for the last two or three years that I could have easily done it, we continue to utilize VK's services. Why? Because we love her and she's awesome! When you see the pics tonight, you will understand that although we only see her once or twice a year - and only in a professional setting - well, we all have fun. Our half hour appointment usually takes longer because we all get to joking around and laughing (and generally disturbing the rest of the office) but it's okay because she's the one in charge of the office.

So those are my two main tackles today: family room and taxes. Fun! Oh - that reminds me, I have to round up my self-employment tax documents too. Yikes!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Poor little guy!

The littlest boy was running today and biffed it. Poor guy came to me with a fully bloody face. Turned out to thankfully be just his lip. Big swollen puffy, cut up lip.

I Am In Love!!!!

Just wait until you all see these! Oh, how perfect are they? Seriously? Totally going to critique them all right here and now for you all.

This one is totally awesome because it symbolizes the double roles of being an employee and a volunteer. And I love the gray sky in this because when you are doing both of these roles, there is a lot of gray area. It's hard to balance both of them. Such an excellent choice on this one!

This one is such an awesome representation of the way that I feel about working. I like it but it's not exactly real fulfilling at this point. It serves it's purpose but it doesn't round me out or complete me, you know?

However, I love my work as a volunteer. Doing this makes me feel so much fuller and complete. And I love the way it makes me feel. I feel like I'm really making a difference. Much like this picture.

Parenting can be incredibly humbling. That's why I chose this as my label name. But it is also incredibly rewarding. There is nothing else like it. And often, when you have been humbled by your kiddos, (like the gray sky above in the photo below), you are also enlightened by them and proud of them because they have surpassed what you expected from them (the sunshine showing on the landscape.) And if you look closely, you will see a double rainbow, symbolizing this mix of humility and pride.

There is nothing quite as organized as the calm tide. Just think of it. The tide comes in, following a regular routine, and when it breaks against the shore, it does so much and affects so many things. It helps clean the beaches, allows life to grow (think of the animals that plant their eggs in the sand and the tide coming in and sweeping them out to sea where they can hatch and begin life). Such organization! It's perfect. The tide can also be very not organized, with storms billowing in to the shore, and wreaking havoc. Kind of like the destruction that we achieve in our lives when we are not organized. Love this!

This one was the first one I saw on the page when I was downloading the pictures from my email. It just jumped out at me. Something about the mixture of the font, the way the rainbow cuts through the center and really is the focus of the picture. It just rocks. But there is absolutely some symbolism here as well. My hope with the New Year, New Goals posts are to change little areas in my life and to allow me to grow. First of all, this picture is just beautiful and inspiring to me. But also, the rainbow is cutting through everything else - much like I want these changes to cut through the other things in my life to help me grow and change. I may even make this picture my desktop background. I like it THAT much!

Once again, just like the parenting picture, this one also shows the gray sky with the sunshine showing below on the landscape. To me, this picture just looks like harmony. I don't know - there's something about a country setting that equals peace and tranquility and well, harmony, for me. They gray sky on the other hand, shows that it can be rough, but the sunshine below shows that it will pass and that the land (or the relationship) has withstood it and all is well. (I hope this review of this particular picture doesn't offend though - it's just my interpretation of the picture)

Accountability. I don't know why exactly this picture works for it, but it does. Something about the colors in the picture, I think, is what it is. I'm not sure, but I love it!

I just love them all so much! Wow! They are just incredible! With very little instruction and a lot of indecisiveness about my request, Katie knew just what it was I wanted. She knew what I wanted more than I did, I'd have to say! So a HUGE thank you to a wonderful friend for designing these for me! Thanks Katie!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Football!!!!....and Cards

But really, I was mostly about the cards. We are staying the night at my in-law's house tonight. They are in Las Vegas on vacation right now. With their permission, we invited our friends, CP and MP over for the games that were going on today. CP had spent much of this weekend at his mom's house, making deer sausage with his younger brother. Apparently his brother is a hunter and had a deer or two ready to be "done up" Blech! Sounds absolutely terrible to me, but oh well. After they were done with that, they joined us at the inlaw's house.

We snacked (ALOT!) and played cards (Pitch anyone? How about Phase 10?) But the games took F.O.R.E.V.E.R. to play because, well, there was a "more important" game going on. This one:

So most of our card game ended up looking like this:

At the end of the night, though, I was able to at least snap a pic of the two of them together. This was the better one of the two that I took really quick before they put on their jackets and ventured out into the cold, snowy night.

Aren't they a cute couple? We just love them! And as Girlie said tonight, "This is our family...Mommy, and Me and CP and MP, and Daddy and Boy A and Boy B and Boy C. That's our family." Of course, her version comes out as "fabbily" but her sentiment is right on. CP and MP are some of those friends that are so close, that we think of them like family. When we have a family event, with just us and our kids, CP and MP are ALWAYS invited to join us. Because they have been a part of "family" before they were a family themselves. And we love 'em both!

I Have Been Stretched

The last few days I have been stretched in very uncomfortable ways. I have agreed to help out someone that Hubby knows through his work. This guy was a former mandated volunteer at Hubby's work and now he is a current community volunteer. He and his wife have had a bad run lately. A car accident that totaled their car, an insurance offer that will just cover the cost of their current loan on the car, but still leave them without a car. They got kicked out of their place for reasons unknown to me (and I don't want to know) and so they are living in a long-term motel. He has a job and is working full-time, but their motel is in one extreme direction of our city and his work place is in the extreme opposite direction. And he has no car. So, I've been driving over and picking him up for work, taking him to work and dropping him off. Which is okay, in and of itself. The first day that I did it however, I finally understood why Hubby is frustrated with this guy. But I continued to do it the next few nights. Then last night, I got to the point that I cannot do it anymore. Well, I can, but I'm losing my ability to bite my tongue.

They are living in a motel. They have cats. They could have gotten a place, but would have had to give up the cats. I can understand their reluctance to do so, but seriously? I'd chose a home over a pet, if it were me. The house that they could have gotten was in their price range, close enough to his work that he could walk, it is on a bus route so that they could travel elsewhere, it is within walking distance of the grocery store, so many good things...but they chose not to do it because the landlord would not accept cats.

He was complaining to me about their grown children (or nearly grown children) who are unwilling to give them money or a car. And I'm sitting here, trying to figure out what it is I am supposed to say to him, how to help him, how to encourage him, without enabling him. Especially when I have such close ties in experience to this situation.

When I was eighteen, I had gotten permission from the State to move out of my foster mother's house. I was in foster care because of something that my stepfather did and my own mom's failure to protect me. Once I was out of the home (that was when I was fifteen) my mom continued to live my stepfather, while I was moved from temporary shelter to a group home then to a foster home. I have long felt that she chose her husband over me. If she had him move out, I could have been home, with my family, with my little brother. I had been the one raising him since he was born and I was twelve. From twelve to fifteen, when I wasn't in school, my little brother was my charge. I was the one who fed him at night, I was the one who gave him baths, I was the one who put him to bed every night. I was the one who got up in the middle of the night with him when he woke up crying, I was the one who gave him his breathing treatments, I was the one who often ended up missing school to take care of him. My little brother, for the first three years of his life, was more my son than my brother.

When I was fifteen and I was removed from my house due to an unsafe situation and my stepfather was allowed to stay, I was hurt. During the time that I was away, my stepfather and my mom separated off and on, he went to jail at least once, it was a highly unstable situation for my little brother.

When I was eighteen and had been given permission to move out on my own, I rented the other half of my mom's duplex. She lived in one half and I lived in one half. I was eighteen, living on my own, in a two bedroom duplex. So that I could be close to my brother, so that I could be there for him. I ended up working 70 hour weeks, financially supporting myself and my mom and my brother. I paid her rent, my rent, all of our utilities, my car payment, my insurance, everything. I was eighteen. My mom received disability benefits for both her and my brother, but never seemed to have any money. She took advantage of me and I allowed that to happen.

So, now when I am faced with this situation with this guy Hubby knows from work, it's a real struggle. I see many similarities between this guy and my mother. Since this is a situation that hits so close to home for me, I am really struggling with how best to handle it, without being rude or judgmental. I am wanting to try to help them without enabling them. I struggle for the right words to encourage him to do for himself, to help himself, but I don't know what those words are. So I have stayed quiet while he rants on about how their kids aren't helping them out. How their kids have a place to stay and are working and going to school, and have a car to do both. I stay silent about that. I tell him parts of my story, to let him know that a kid CAN do it and make it. I leave my own emotions about the situation out of the story. But it is getting harder and harder to do. I see so much of my mom and I in this situation.

And the issues between my mom and I are not improved. Just yesterday, Hubby found DVD's that my mom was trying to sneak out of our house to her house in a diaper in her bag. I don't know how to deal with this situation in my own life. I cannot even begin to know how to deal with this guy's situation either. I just know that I need to step back from it because it's hurting me, and is just not a good situation overall. I like to help people, I don't even mind helping people til it hurts, but this is beyond that. Way beyond that.

I had Hubby take this guy home from work today, because I just couldn't do it this morning. I think that when we tell him that we are not going to be able to continue to help him out with this, it is going to cause hurt feelings between all of us. Just based on my own previous experience with my mom. And I don't want others to think poorly of me. I have tried. I really have. But we cannot afford to continue to do this - it's costing us about five dollars a trip to transport him, and we cannot afford the time investment either - anywhere from one to one and a half hours per trip. Ten dollars a day, two to three hours a day. We just cannot do that. I feel guilty for not being able to do it, but I know that it's just not something within our ability to continue to do. Plus the whole emotional aspect of it is costing me in different way. It's been a good exercise for me to be stretched to help someone in a situation very similar to my own, but the key is knowing how far stretching can go before there's either the snap or the break. And right now, that line is directly underfoot.

Goal 1, Week 4

You can read the first part of this post here. This is the list for Week Four of my goal for a Bible Reading Plan.

January - Week Four

24 - The Birth of Isaac ... (Genesis 21:1-21:7)
25 - Hagar and Ishmael Sent Away ... (Genesis 21:8-21:21)
26 - The Treaty at Beersheba ... (Genesis 21:22-21:34)
27 - Abraham Tested ... (Genesis 22:1-22:19)
28 - Nahor's Sons ... (Genesis 22:20-22:24)
29 - The Death of Sarah ... (Genesis 23:1-23:20)
30 - Isaac and Rebekah ... (Genesis 24:1-24:67)

Goal 4: Clean the Little Bathroom Every Day

We have this little bathroom off of our current family room (soon to be den, but you'll read more about that February 1st) and it is my favorite bathroom to use. This is the bathroom that Hubby and I use as "our" bathroom, it is also the bathroom that guests use the most often.

However, it has not been staying in as tip-top shape as I'd like, so I want to make a commitment to cleaning it every morning. I think it will become part of my early morning routine. Wake up, pray, bathroom stuff, bathroom clean, so on and so forth to get on with the rest of my day. It works best to have a specific goal and a specific time frame to do that goal. For me, first thing in the morning works out well, as I routinely wake up half an hour before the alarm goes off, and there's nothing else to distract me from doing it (usually). And for that matter, I could even clean and pray at the same time. Often enough, my prayers are said in a much less formal format anyhow. Just what I'm thinking as I'm thinking it. Like calling a friend on the phone for a chat. That's what my prayer life is like.

So, this week's goal: Clean the Little Bathroom Every Day - swish and swipe at the minimum. I can handle that.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Not One of My Finer Moments

My child, he's awesome. And I mean, like really really awesome. Like other parents would be jealous if they knew how awesome this child is. And I just destroyed his feelings without abandon. I was a total jerk to my awesome kid. And I did it out of complete selfishness. I wanted to do something and he wanted to do something, but we both could not do it at the same time. I pulled rank on him and then when he had a typical childish reaction to it, I compared him to someone that I shouldn't have. And I destroyed his feelings. Wow. That sucks. For both of us.

Boy A has been incredibly helpful, kind and selfless the last couple of days. He selflessly cleaned my bedroom. I didn't ask him to do it, in fact, I'd prefer that he not do it, but he chose to do it because he saw a problem (a huge mess in my own personal space that I am responsible for) and he chose to fix it for me. Without question, without expectation, he did it.

Then today, we were going to take he and Boy B to a basketball game. They were both really excited about it. Boy A even chose to bring along a book to read because he knew that the game gets long for him to sit though. He was responsible, made a good choice, planned ahead, all those things we have been stressing to him.

The wait to get into the game was LONG, and Hubby got tired of waiting, so we went out to lunch instead, which was nice. We had the waiters sing "Happy Birthday" to Boy A and he got a sundae, which he thought was pretty cool.

After lunch, we came home and I took my mom and Boy B back to my mom's place and Hubby and Boy A were on the computer while I was gone. When I got home, I got on the computer to read a couple of blog entries, hoping to write a couple of entries myself, and to watch two shows that I haven't had a chance to view yet. We have televisions in our house, but since we don't have cable, we have four channels, which we don't watch anyhow. Any and all of our television viewing happens online. Mostly our televisions are used for the kids' movies or sometimes a video game.

Anyhow, every two minutes tops, Boy A would come up to me and ask me if I was done yet. After about an hour of this, I was tired of hearing it. Not to say that my reaction was the right one - because it wasn't - but it was my justification for my reaction at the time that it happened.

The first thing that I tried was to let him know that no, I was not done yet, because I had just gotten on. The second thing that I tried was to explain to him that I would let him know when I was done. The third thing that I tried was to explain to him that since the two little ones were napping, and since Boy B was gone, it was a nice, quiet time that I could use to work on things that I wanted to do. I also explained to him that he had already had a chance on the computer and that it was my turn. Then he asked AGAIN. At which point, I was really not happy. I scolded him (probably with more volume and more gusto than necessary - well, not probably - definitely with more of both than necessary) and told him that I got to use the computer because it was MY computer, that I paid for it, that I continue to pay for it by paying for the internet service that we use. And since I have paid for all of that and still do pay for it, I should be able to use it when I want to. Not at all meaning that he had to pay for his ability to use it, just expressing the idea that if I have worked hard to pay for something, I would like to be able to use it as well, right?

He went upstairs and got his bank, and brought it to me. He was crying. He asked if he gave me all of his money if I would let him on to play his game. I got more upset. I told him that he didn't need to pay for it, that I just wanted to be able to use my own computer. I also told him that if he was going to cry over not being able to use the computer that he probably did not need to use the computer in the first place. And I compared him to one of Hubby's friends who is obsessed with gaming - in a very serious, life-limiting way.

He ended up going up and hanging out with Hubby. The two of them had some awesome father/son time playing a game together. And I got to watch my show in peace. But you know what? It wasn't worth it. Watching my show in peace and being able to be on the computer was not worth upsetting my son. It was not worth making him feel insignificant. It was not worth any of it.

When my show was over and he and his dad were done with their game, Boy A came back down to the computer. I was signing out of my stuff. He peeked at the computer. "I'm logging off right now, Buddy." I told him. His reply was, "I wasn't going to ask, Mom. I was just seeing what you were doing." Wow. This kid amazes me. When he acts like a mature young man, it catches me off guard when he acts like, well, a kid. He's nine. He is a kid. Sometimes I just expect too much. Sometimes I expect him to understand things that he shouldn't have to. Sometimes I expect him to be patient and selfless. Sometimes I expect all of that, so that I can be selfish and that isn't right. I learned a lesson tonight. Thank you, Boy A. And once again, I'm sorry. I love you.

*side note* Boy A did get on the computer and had some fun time to play. We also had time to sit and talk and I gave him lots and lots of praise for the things he has done the last couple of days that I am so happy and proud of him for doing. I also let him know that I was wrong. I let him know that we all make mistakes, even grown-ups, even parents, but when we do, the best thing is to admit when we were wrong, ask forgiveness, move on, and try to learn from the mistake by trying not to do it again.

This looked like fun

Weekly Accountability Post 3

January - Week Three

Changing things up a little bit here. I had been commenting on each "story" as I read it, but I don't know that it was really doing much other than maybe proving that I actually did read it. Unless someone wants to hear my thoughts on each individual story, I think I will just start keeping track of my reading.

Hagar and Ishmael ... (Genesis 16:1-16:16) Read.
Daily Prayer Time Done.
Dishes done Done.

The Covenant of Circumcision ... (Genesis 17:1-17:27) Read.
Daily Prayer Time Done.
Dishes done Done.

The Three Visitors ... (Genesis 18:1-18:15) Read on 1/22.
Daily Prayer Time Done.
Dishes done Not done.

Abraham Pleads for Sodom ... (Genesis 18:16-18:33) Read on 1/22.
Daily Prayer Time Honestly not sure.
Dishes done Not done.

Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed ... (Genesis 19:1-19:29) Read on 1/22.
Daily Prayer Time Done.
Dishes done Some of them done. At least I attempted to work on it, right?

Lot and His Daughters ... (Genesis 19:30-19:38) Done along with the previous days' reading.
Daily Prayer Time Done.
Dishes done Done.

Abraham and Abimelech ... (Genesis 20:1-20:18) Done.
Daily Prayer Time Done.
Dishes done Done.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Finish It Friday

Well today was a rather odd day to begin with. I ran over to a friend's work to pick him up and take him back to his place and then went into work myself. I was late to work, but it wasn't a big deal at all. My boss is pretty lax like that where I am concerned. I don't know that he's that lax with everyone, but I don't know. Worked a few hours, then it was time to go get the kids from my mother-in-law's house.

Picked them up, came home, put Boy C down for a nap, as he was falling asleep in the car on the way home. Of course, the fact that Girlie was asking me to sing song after song on the way home may have had something to do with it.

Hubby was already home from work, so he got the boy into bed and was playing on the computer, so I asked him if I could lay down and take a nap until the older boys got home from school. He said that was fine, then he let me sleep until 6pm! Talk about a nap! Four hours! I needed it though. I didn't sleep well last night, Boy C didn't sleep well last night, Girlie didn't sleep well last was just a rough night in general.

So, Hubby woke me up at 6pm, and I rushed out the door to go pick the friend up again to take him to work for the night, stopped by Target on the way home to pick up a mousepad for Hubby and some Take-N-Toss straw cups for Boy C and Girlie. Boy C just learned how to drink from a straw last week. It was really exciting and we are so proud of him! It took him a LONG time to get the hang of it (like, 18 months or so) but now he is a straw master...minus the whole part of tipping the cup when the drink is almost gone instead of repositioning the straw. But hey, that will come with time, ya know?

So, on to the tackle for today...I posted on Katie's blog that I was planning on finishing the kitchen. I did a lot of work in the kitchen yesterday and it is close to being cleaned up. The drawers and cupboards all need a good solid, decluttering and reorganizing but that's not what I need to finish up. I just need to finish up cleaning the parts that you can see when you are just standing in the kitchen looking around. I may do the open shelving in the kitchen, but I'm not sure yet. I will take before and after pictures of the reorganizing project once I get started on it, because it is going to be a massive change and I am really excited about it. Not to mention that I plan on putting the picture of what the cupboard is supposed to look like on the inside of the cupboard once the job is finished - that way it will be easier for other people to put things away. At least, I hope it will be. Will have to see how that goes though. So tonight's project is to finish up the kitchen! (And to finally email Katie!)

Curve Ball!

Well, Hubby has surprised me this week. In a really big, major way. He said that after school is let out for the summer this year, he wants to homeschool. Just out of the blue. Well, it seems to be out of the blue. It's something that he has been stewing over and thinking about and evaluating without my knowledge of him doing so.

You see, we had originally planned to homeschool our kiddos. It was our plan all along. Even as we sent Boy A off to Preschool and Academy when he was three and four years old, our plan was to homeschool him and his younger sibling(s). I put the "s" in parenthesis because at the time he only had one sibling, but we were planning and hoping for more. We planned on homeschooling him right up until the week prior to the school year starting back in 2006. That week, we decided to enroll him.

Our home life was going through a lot of turmoil at that time, I had a new baby to take care of, Hubby and I were at the ending point of our marriage. There was a lot of grief in our lives at that time, and Hubby and I were separated. He felt that it was best to enroll Boy A in school so that he had some stability in his life, since our home life was so full of havoc at that time. So I did.

Schooling Boy A hasn't been the most beneficial thing for him, but we stuck it out. Mainly because I was following Hubby's lead in this decision, while still working with Boy A (then Boy B, and now Girlie and Boy C as well) at home. I have very strong opinions and reasons for wanting to homeschool, but that's not what this post is about, so I'll leave those out of this for now.

For the last three and a half years, we have broached the subject of homeschooling the kids probably twice a year or so. Usually, I am the one who approaches Hubby with this topic. This time, he approached me. There was no tentativeness in his conversation about the subject. It was pretty direct and straightforward. "I think when the school year is done, we should start homeschooling instead." Simple, quick, point blank. No question about it, just a statement.

One sentence that completely floored me. I've been wanting to do this, I've been praying about doing this, I cannot even express what this means to me, it is so important. He wants us to homeschool. And by us, I mean me. He wants me to homeschool our kids. At last!

Of course, at this point in our lives, there's a lot to think about and to put into perspective. For one, we really need both of our incomes. Second, our main childcare option is not someone who would be supportive of this decision. Third, well...I guess really there are only two major obstacles to overcome, but we have awhile to do it.

We also were discussing briefly what kind of homeschooling to do. Another flooring surprise from Hubby: "Boy A really likes to do his own research projects and to just learn on his own. I think allowing him to do that would really help matters." What he just described there was child-led unschooling. Letting the boy learn what he wants to know about when he wants to know about it. Hubby did say later on, though, that he thinks it would be good to have a curriculum for homeschooling, as a back-up plan to unschooling. He said that there is a lot he wants to explore before making this decision. I just could not believe my ears. He is really thinking about this.

I don't know if we will end up homeschooling the kiddos. Girlie will attend Academy next year regardless of what happens with the homeschooling aspect, and Boy C will still have his home-based public school teacher once a week, most likely along with other therapies at that point. But Boys A and B? They may very well be homeschooled next year. I'm being patient with this. I don't want to get overly excited or to plan on this happening 100%, because as I said, there are a few obstacles that we will need to work through first before this could become an actuality. But I just wanted to share this with you all, because it is something that I am incredibly excited about. Even if we don't do it, just knowing that Hubby has been reconsidering it and is willing to look into the options more thoroughly is just exciting and wonderful!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Time For Me Thursday

The week is almost over and all is well in the household. Although, I have to admit that I had a bit of a scare at work yesterday. I think it scared my manager, B, more than it scared me. Mainly because I'm somewhat used to it happening.

You see, yesterday while I was at work, I had a more severe case of arrhythmia. One moment I was standing by the cash register, talking...the next I was at the back of our work area, gasping for breath. I have had heart problems from the time I was really little. When I was an infant/small child, I was told that I had a heart murmur. In later childhood, I was told that I had outgrown it. Then when I was starting my adolescent years, I started to have problems with heart palpitations and skipped beats, among other things.

I was monitored about every six to twelve months for this and the pediatric cardiologist that I saw said that my problems were not severe enough to do anything about. She said that it was just an annoying inconvenience that I would have to deal with. So I have for about 15 years now.

Yesterday though, it was really kind of scary. I don't remember much of yesterday. Much of the memories are clouded and jumbled. I couldn't tell a person in which order the events happened, but what I do remember about it was that I had the arrhythmia episode, then I was standing back by the cigarettes, holding my chest and trying to catch my breath. My head was spinning and B was standing near me, asking me repeatedly if I was okay, if I needed anything, if I wanted him to call an ambulance.

I know at some point, I ended up in his office, in his big desk chair, with my feet propped up on the shelving unit. He was typing an email about having an employee transferred over from another store. There was something about score cards (our company's discount program) and at one point, I know I was back up front, leaning on the counter, trying to convince myself and everyone else that I was okay. B was patting my back. It was so comforting. It was really nice.

I don't remember coming home, although Hubby had dropped me off at work, so I'm sure he picked me up as well. But the second to next thing I remember is waking up at one o'clock this afternoon.

In retrospect, maybe I should have allowed B to have me taken in to the hospital, but I didn't. I don't much like doctor visits. I used to love them when I was a kid, but as an adult, meh, not so much. If I can avoid a doctor/hospital visit, I'm all about that.

Hubby's paycheck came today - a day before he is supposed to be paid - and two days before he normally gets paid. His payday is a Friday, but the checks usually get mailed on Friday, so he gets it on Saturday. The last couple of times though, he's gotten his Friday paycheck on Thursday. I'm not complaining, let me assure you! I like it quite a bit.

So, we ended up buying some groceries today, as well as some much needed pants for Boy A. Poor Boy A - he gets clothing as a (late) birthday present. But he is the child that doesn't get hand-me-downs, so the new clothing that he does get, often ends up being tied to a holiday, like his birthday or Christmas.

But I found him three pairs of nice looking, new cargo pants at Wal*Mart today. I have a real love/hate relationship with that store, but today its more on the love side of it. They had the pants that I needed, at a price I was willing to pay. Gotta love that. Somehow, somewhere, Boy A ended up needing a Husky waist in jeans. So that's what I found. Size 10 Husky. Fabulous! :)

And tonight for dinner, I made one of our favorite dishes...barbecued chicken and pineapple (on skewers). It's so much fun! Something about skewers makes mealtime so much fun, so I use those on days that the kids and I need a bit of perk.

Boy B was extra helpful today. When we got home, I had some dishes to do (I don't think I ate dinner yesterday, but the rest of the family did - and there were leftover dishes from that still around the kitchen, plus various dishes here and there throughout the house) so I got started on that right away. Boy B just came right up and volunteered to give me a hand.

He cracks me up. Where Boy A is 9 and wears a 10 Husky in jeans, Boy B is skinny. His waist only varies a tiny bit from that of his 3 year old sister and 2 year old brother. So, he wears a size 6 or 7 in jeans, because they have to be long enough, but today, he wasn't wearing a belt, so once he took off his shirt to help me with dishes (somehow, the kids all get wet when they help dishes, so they have learned to remove their shirts beforehand), you could see that his pants were sagging. There was probably a good two inches worth of underwear visible. It was so funny! I mentioned it to Hubby, saying that Boy B could be in high school the way that he was dressed at that point, based on the kids I see come in on school days.

It was a totally unfair generalized comment about a particular age group, but I see high school kids on a daily basis, and most of the kids that I see where exactly that. Pants that are sagging in such a way that I can see 2-6 inches of their underwear or boxers. I don't get it. I can't imagine that it would be comfortable, but maybe it is. Maybe it's an acquired taste for comfort, I don't know. Nor do I want to find out. And I think my kids will thank me for that.

All in all, we had a good, fun, and productive day today, even with me sleeping in until one o'clock. Craziness!

And tomorrow, when I get off of work at 11am, I will have the next five and a half days off from work and I will be working on things around the house in a major way. We have a lot going on and I seem to be adding more to the list without realizing it. I have high hopes and aspirations for the coming week. We'll have to see how it all goes.

Oh - and in case you didn't catch it...the thing I did for myself today was sleeping in. I needed it in a major way (and I'm not sure that it could have been avoided even if I had wanted.)

Monday, January 18, 2010

A Bit Off...

I am feeling a bit off today. I think it has to do with the fact that tomorrow is Boy A's 9th birthday and we will not hardly see him at all that day, due to our work schedules. The kiddos will be heading over to my mother-in-law's house around 6:30 in the morning and they won't be home again until 5:30 on Wednesday. That's a LONG time!

I'm also feeling a bit off because although we got a lot of housework done yesterday, there still remains a fair amount to do and tensions are high. Hubby is not as supportive of my blogging as he once was, because it takes too much time. He says that it is a bit hypocritical of me to have a blog called "Organizing Amid the Chaos" when I am not doing any organizing or "lifting a finger around the house." I do see where he's coming from. He sees this blog, knows the blog title, and assumes that because I have a blog entitled "Organizing Amid the Chaos" that the house will suddenly and miraculously be completely cleaned and organized. Okay, I guess that I threw some sarcasm in there as well. I almost edited it out and rewrote it, but decided not to. That is my true reaction to it, but I do see where he is coming from, even if my reaction is not the one of love and acceptance that I wish came so readily to me.

I do feel like he expects it all to just happen quickly and easily - even if I am not home to do it. Even if I am working and volunteering many hours. I know what needs to be done. I know that I have not put as much time and effort into it as I am able. I do, selfishly, enjoy time to relax after work as well as other priorities. No, I'm not perfect, and I don't claim to be. I do want to get stuff done around the house, but I do not want to do it in lieu of time to relax, to be with the kids, to have time with Hubby, to work...I don't want to spend my days as a slave to the house, to Hubby, to the kids, to work. It's a matter of balancing it all. And lately, the balance has been uneven. Work and volunteering has been taking up the largest chunk of my time, followed by time with Hubby, time with the kids, relaxing and then cleaning has gotten short-changed lately.

Saturday and Sunday, I was so stiff and sore from working such long hours, that I could barely move. Sunday was a bit of an improvement over Saturday though, because I was more able to move and I didn't have to work as long of a shift. We were even able to spend some time with family friends, C and M, to celebrate Boy A's birthday a little bit early, and to also have some time playing cards with them. C and I won the game by the way. I'll share the score card with you all in a bit, if you are interested in seeing it. C and I came from WAY behind to win the Pitch game.

C and I were the "We" team and Hubby and M were the "They" team, as I was the one keeping score. We came back from quite the deficit! But win or lose, we all just love to play!

Back to the "off" now though. I know, no transition, but that's where my mind went, my fingers (and now your eyes) are following suit. Today, Hubby and I discussed the rearranging that is going to be happening very soon in our house. We were going to work on it today, but unfortunately, that did not happen. The soonest it can happen now is Friday. I work a half-day on Friday and then Hubby has an actual two-day weekend next weekend so we will have LOTS of time to get things rearranged this coming weekend. I still hope to get as much as possible done tonight though.

Yesterday, we got quite a bit of the housework done. Both bathrooms are clean, the living room is done, the family room and kitchen are much improved. All the rooms could still use a further cleaning job, but that will come soon. At this point, we wouldn't be (too) terribly embarrassed to have people come in if they were to stop over unannounced. There is still a lot of clutter in the family room and that will remain until we get some of the other work done. You know, Step 1 has to come before Step 2, which has to come before Step 3, etc. Well, the family room declutter is somewhere around Step 98 on a 100-Step list.

It also doesn't help matters that because the kids have been gone at my mother-in-law's house a lot lately and we now experiencing some discipline issues at home. It often happens that way. It's not that there is anything done or not done when they are at their grandparents. I think it is just a matter of kids who enjoy time at their grandparents' house and they push the limits when they get home. I think it's normal child behavior. But I don't know for sure. I remember doing it when I was a kid. Mind perfectly for my grandma when I was at her house and then when I got home, I remember acting up a lot. I don't remember why exactly, but I do remember doing it.

And I hate to admit it, but I have taken to scolding and raising my voice at the kids lately as well. I hate to raise my voice, and I hate to yell. I will do it, mind you, but I don't think it's teaching the kids the right message. Plus, it hurts my throat. I'm a very quiet individual by nature. I would prefer to simply talk with the kids. I'm more of a "Gentle Discipline" type of parent myself. But Hubby is not, and neither is my mom or his mom. Hubby, his mom and my mom all rule more by fear than by expecting true respect from the kids. I feel like I am often fighting an uphill battle in the parenting arena.

Boy C has also been highly reactive to something in his diet. I don't know for sure what it is, but it's happening again, and I feel like we are on a downhill slope to him getting very reactive soon. The more reactive he is, the harder the problem becomes to deal with. When I was at home with him full-time or nearly full-time, I was able to keep him virtually unreactive. But he has been reacting more and more lately. I don't know what to do about it, other than stay home. Everyone else who cares for him knows the do and don'ts of his food restrictions and everyone claims to follow them. But someone, somewhere along the line (and yes, it could even be me) is giving him something that he is reacting to, and a reactive tummy makes for a fussy toddler.

Mother-in-law is also wanting to have Boy C re-evaluated for Speech. He does have a deficit in that department, and in fact, that is where his biggest deficit is right now. He has been showing improvements, but mother-in-law does not feel it is enough of a change or a quick enough change and so she is going to try to pull some strings to get him re-evaluated. I don't mind. If she is able to get him re-evaluated, that is fine. I'm planning to wait until next week when I have a visit with our home-based teacher, JW, to see what she has to say about it. We spoke briefly before and she has some things to discuss with me anyhow, so we will see what happens with it.

I could go on and on about the things that feel "off" right now, but I have to stop. The kids are not wanting to go to bed for Hubby and he's losing his patience with them (and I am losing my patience with the kids and with Hubby - and really, it's just because I'm feeling like "my" time is being infringed upon.) I really need to work on that!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Goal 1, Week 3

You can read the first part of this post here. This is the list for Week Three of my goal for a Bible Reading Plan.

January - Week Three

17 - Hagar and Ishmael ... (Genesis 16:1-16:16)
18 - The Covenant of Circumcision ... (Genesis 17:1-17:27)
19 - The Three Visitors ... (Genesis 18:1-18:15)
20 - Abraham Pleads for Sodom ... (Genesis 18:16-18:33)
21 - Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed ... (Genesis 19:1-19:29)
22 - Lot and His Daughters ... (Genesis 19:30-19:38)
23 - Abraham and Abimelech ... (Genesis 20:1-20:18)

Goal 3: Make Sure the Dishes Are Done

Okay, so I'll admit it. I don't really like doing dishes. I mean, sometimes, yes, I really enjoy doing them, but most of the time, eh...not so much. And with Hubby and I both working outside the home now and meal times no longer being consistent and the clean-up after mealtimes being even less consistent, it is definitely time that I put this goal into action. I had been doing this last week as well, but now I'm going to start making myself accountable for it too. It seems to me that my goals this year are really about making changes to the way that I live my life, and are not just short-term goals. I think that is really important. I am excited about the way I have been blessed by making the changes that I have so far.

So, anyhow, my goal for this week (in addition to the goals from the last two weeks) is to work on getting the dishes done every evening after dinner/before getting the kids ready for bed.

Let's see how it goes!

Weekly Accountability Post 2

January - Week Two

10 - The Sons of Noah ... (Genesis 9:18-9:29)

Ham saw his father lying naked and drunken in his tent and told his brothers about it. His brothers decided to cover their father up by backing into the tent and laying a blanket over their father. When their father found out about it, he became angry at Ham and so punished Ham's son, Canaan. It reminds me of the quote, "Sins of the father..." since Canaan, who did nothing wrong, is the one being punished by Noah. If you remember a few chapters back, God also punished Adam's children for Adam's mistakes. It's an important thing to remember. Our children historically are punished for OUR mistakes. Lead by example. Live your life as you want your children to live their's.

Daily Prayer Time Done, though it wasn't done in the morning as I had planned on, as my alarm had been shut off and I woke up about fifteen minutes later than I had planned on.

11 - The Table of Nations ... (Genesis 10:1-10:32)

Another genealogy chapter. Not a real entertaining read. But I did not realize that it was during this time that Nineveh was built. I am confused though, as to whether it was built by Cush or his son Nimrod. The way that it was worded, it sounded to me like it was built by Nimrod. But I am not sure on that one.

Daily Prayer Time Done.

12 - The Tower of Babel ... (Genesis 11:1-32)

In verse 4 of the previous chapter, it said that each of the maritime peoples spread out into their own territories and that each had their own language. But in this chapter, it says that the whole world all had one language. This confuses me. I don't understand. Unless the previous chapter is meaning different dialects of the same language. That would make sense to me. These people plotted against God, and He came down and confused their language and spread them out over the earth.

The second part of this chapter is another genealogy list, but this one ending with Abram and Lot. Abram's brother, Haran, was Lot's father. Haran died in Ur. Terah was the father of Abram, and Terah lead Abram, his wife Sarai, and his nephew Lot toward Canaan. But they stopped and settled in a place called Haran. I wonder if that is symbolic because that was the name of Lot's father. At the end of the chapter, it says that Terah died in Haran.

Daily Prayer Time Done.

13 - The Call of Abram ... (Genesis 12:1-12:20)

God called Abram to separate from his father's family and to go to the land that God will show him. Abram obeyed and set out with his wife and nephew, the people that they had acquired in Haran (which I'm curious to know how they had "acquired" these people - were they slaves?) and headed to Canaan. God promised to give Abram's offspring the land of Canaan, which is interesting at this point, because Sarai is barren.

There was a famine in the land so Abram and Sarai went to Egypt to live (nothing is mentioned about Lot at this point - I don't know if he went to Egypt as well) but Abram was fearful for his life, that because Sarai was beautiful, that the Pharaoh would have Abram killed in order to take Sarai as his wife. So Abram asked Sarai to lie and say that they were brother and sister, so that Abram's life would be spared. She did, and Pharaoh took notice of her, moved her into the palace and took her as his wife. Pharaoh also treated Abram very well, giving him maidservants and menservants and sheep, cattle, donkey and camels. In short, Abram cleaned up.

But God sent plagues on Pharaoh and his household. Pharaoh knew that it was because of Sarai and because of the lie that Sarai and Abram had told. Pharaoh sent them away, allowing them to keep the gifts that had been given to them.

Daily Prayer Time Done.

14 - Abram and Lot Separate ... (Genesis 13:1-13:18)

In this chapter it says that Abram went from Egypt up to the Negev (where he had been before Egypt) and that Sarai and Lot went with him,, which to me sounds like Lot was in Egypt with them. Anyhow, Lot and Abram both had many possessions and people with them. Lot's herdsmen and Abram's herdsmen were quarreling and Abram suggests to Lot that they part paths, since the land was great and there was plenty for each of them to have. So, they parted ways. After doing so, God tells Abram that the land will belong to him and his offspring. And that the land and his offspring both will be vast. Lot settled near Sodom (where the people were wicked and sinning greatly) and Abram settled near Hebron.

Daily Prayer Time Done.

15 - Abram Rescues Lot ... (Genesis 14:1-14:24)

There was a war going on among the kings of the area. Four kings had gone out and conquered many other kings during a twelve year war, then retreated back to their homes. There were five kings who joined forces and went to war against these four kings. The four kings prevailed and many people under the five kings' rule fled or died. Those who didn't, were captured. The four kings seized all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah and all their food. They also carried off Lot and his possessions, since he was living in Sodom.

Abram took his men and they went out and defeated those who had taken Lot. They rescued Lot and his people, as well as their possessions. The king of Sodom asked Abram to allow him to take the people and that Abram could keep the goods. Abram told the king no, since he had made an agreement with God to not accept anything from the king.

Daily Prayer Time Done.

16 - God's Covenant With Abram ... (Genesis 15:1-15:21)

Abram asked God what would happen to the land that God had given to him, since he had no heir. God told him that he would have countless heirs and that their numbers would be great. Abram believed Him. God asked Abram to bring him a heifer, a goat and a ram - each three years old as well as two birds, a dove and a young pigeon.

Abram did as God had asked, and cut the larger animals in two, with the halves opposite each other. But the birds he did not cut into two. When birds came down to prey on the carcasses of the slaughtered animals, Abram protected the carcasses, as they were an offering to God.

God made a covenant with Abram, promising him many offspring and giving him the foreknowledge that his offspring would live as servants for 400 years before they would be given the land, but that they would have all of the land after that point in time.

Daily Prayer Time Done.

Friday, January 15, 2010


Well, for the second time today, I am once again battling jealousy. Seems to be a recurring theme today.

CA got the promotion. Remember CA? The one who MB kept forgetting that he would need to interview? Yeah. She got it. The general consensus is not a positive one. In fact, it is a pretty negative one. And while I am struggling with jealousy that she got the position (as I was really hoping that CR would get it), I am also not going to allow the other employees' negative reactions to the decision affect my work. I am pretty certain that CA is going to have a fairly rough go at the job. But I am not going to contribute to that. I can only do my part in it. And I'm going to work hard and help her out however I can. I am also going to do my part to discourage such behavior from the other employees.

But I am jealous that CA got it instead of CR or myself. Hopefully it will all work out well though. Who knows? We may all be pleasantly surprised. I hope so, at any rate.

Oh - and CJ did NOT take the news well - at all. In fact, I think that come tomorrow or Saturday, she may be on her way out the door. Her reaction is likely to get her fired.

Thursday, January 14, 2010


Well, in spite of today's post about how I was feeling, this post will be more about what I was doing.

The house (as you all may recall me complaining about) has been in need of a serious deep clean. This morning, once I got up, I decided to tackle the room that was bothering me the most. And I am ashamed to admit that it got to the point that it was at this kids' bathroom. Blech! Let's just say that the upstairs hallway bathroom is used most predominately by our two older boys. Boys who are 6 and almost 9. Boys who should be able to hit a target, if you understand my meaning.

But, I digress, they have not. Been hitting the target. Seemingly, at all. Yuck! And because I don't use that bathroom, I didn't realize that it was that bad. And bad it was!

It has probably been, oh, a week since I had been in there to use it or to specifically ask my oldest to clean it. So, this morning when I went in there it reeked! Oh my word. I about hit the floor. Or the ceiling. But the floor was a closer option. I got right to work on the floor around the toilet. The worst part. Caked on. Serious. The bathroom isn't completely cleaned and disinfected yet, but it is now at least free of gross, crusty, yuckiness on the floor. And that makes me a happy mama!

I guess that I will definitely need to work with those kids on our new chore system. I had wanted to wait until it was all finalized and ready to go, but I don't think my house, my kids or I can wait that long. We'll jump in with where I was wanting to start and just add on from there. We'll make it up as we go and it will all work out.

If you are curious to know about our new chore system, it is loosely based off of Lara's idea for her own kids. I have some of the cards done and ready to go. I have our morning and evening cards, the kitchen and living room chore cards done. I still have to make the family room, playroom, basement, laundry, meal time, outdoors, going out, and personal enrichment cards, but I think I'm at a spot where I can at least begin implementing the cards. Yay! So, that will be coming soon and I will let you all know how that goes.

Struggling This Morning...

On a couple of blogs that I read on a regular basis, My Charming Kids and Kingdom Twindom, they have been discussing bold blogging. If you are curious about what bold blogging is, you can read about it here and here.

This morning I am really struggling with a number of issues. I know that I just need to pray about them and let them go, but I'm still at that point in time when I want to hang on to the issues and be miserable with them. You know the feeling?

For starters (and this one I have already pretty much let go of after prayer and an apology) but I made Hubby's morning rough. And I mean really really rough. I feeling upset and, well, bitter, about the other issues (which I will get to in a minute) and instead of helping him this morning and being kind to him and allowing for his day to start easy and calm, I did the exact opposite.

I woke him up, had HIM go downstairs to check and make sure his shirt for work today was dry. I had HIM find clothes for the older boys, I had HIM get the kids up and ready for school, I had HIM take them to school, and when he asked me if I would take them to school this morning, I balked at him, I complained and so HE ended up taking them to school. But I knew that my heart wasn't in the right spot this morning and that I was taking out my frustration out on him, even though it was caused by something else. So, I prayed, I made it right with God. I left my Hubby a sweet Facebook message on his wall so that he could read it when he gets the chance to get on the computer today:

" Love, I'm sorry if I made your morning more stressful. I honestly wasn't trying to make your morning more stressful. I was trying to make MY morning less stressful. I was being selfish in that regard and I'm sorry.

I hope your day is awesomely FABULOUS! (a smile there? just a bit of one?) and that you are able to get all of the program installations done before 11. I love you! Have a great day, okay? *smooches*"

He likes to tease me because I say the word "fabulous" more frequently than I realize. So that is the reason behind that word (and the extra comment) in my post on his wall.

Okay...deep breath...the part that I haven't let go of yet.

Yesterday, my mother-in-law was upset at me for not coming to pick the kids up right at 3:30. In all honesty, I had forgotten to tell her that my shift at work had changed from 7a-3p to 7a-7p, but I didn't end up working that long of a shift. So, I figured that I had time to head out to Hubby's work to help him with plans for their Grand Opening/Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony that is happening later today.

I had made arrangements with my mother-in-law for her to take the little kids today at 10am because I had planned on being at work at 11am. But then yesterday, she informed us that she has friends in town today and she wanted to go out to lunch with them and that she wouldn't be taking the kids today so that I could go to work because she would prefer to spend time with her friends.

I am looking at other childcare options because I need to have her be there when she has agreed to be there. And if she isn't, then I can't be where I need to be when I need to be there, and that would not work well for my job - or for any job.

I had also hoped to go out to Hubby's work today for at least part of the ribbon-cutting ceremony. It makes me very sad that I can't go. I had helped out a lot with much of the prep work for the Conference Center and now I don't get to be a part of the ceremony. :( Okay, and part of that is me wanting some small form of recognition for the work I did. But this is a reminder to be humble and to give without expectation. And that's what I did initially. I didn't expect anything in return, but then when I found out about the ceremony today, I just wanted to be a part of it - a part of it, which is different from being in it. I do not want to be IN the ceremony. Nuh uh - not at all! I want to be on the sidelines, watching it. And being able to be there and recognize Hubby and his co-workers for all the work that they did to get the Conference Center up and running.

So, anyhow, yeah, I'm needing to work on that - to pray about it, to give my childish emotions to my Father, because I don't like them. They don't feel very good. And I also need to not allow the whole childcare (or lack thereof) aspect bring me down, because it could very well be something that needs to happen for something in the future to change or happen or whatever. I don't know the plan and I don't want to know it...well, not all of it. Just the parts that pertain to me in the near future. :)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010


I am so excited that Org Junkie (aka Laura) is bringing this back! I love the organizing challenges that she holds! It's an awesome motivator to do what I need to do anyhow! And I even have a plan already in place!

The challenge will run through the end of February and there will be before and after pictures posted as well. Gulp! Before? Ah, I'm just kidding. I'm not crazy about posting before pictures, but I will. Because the transformation is going to be HUGE! Well, maybe not HUGE HUGE - I'm not changing the layout of the room or painting walls or anything like that, I'm just working on getting things organized within the room.

I have many options for this project, but the two rooms that I am most interested in doing right now are the kitchen and the playroom. I just don't know which one I want to do first. Probably the kids' playroom. That will show a huge amount of change. And some furniture rearrangements. Because the playroom was also being used as our guest bedroom, a catch-all for all of our stuff, etc. It's not a very functional playroom. And at the moment, it's even hard to get into the playroom. It's baaaaad.

So I am excited about working on that, and I'm sure my kids will be excited about it as well!

Some more exciting things going on include the Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony that will be held at Hubby's work tomorrow. He works for a non-profit organization that recently added on a conference center. With the addition of the conference center also came the addition of Hubby's job. Even though he's been working there since October, the big official Ribbon-Cutting Ceremony will be taking place tomorrow. I'm really excited for that to happen and I cannot wait!

The other exciting thing for tomorrow is that it is when my manager at work will finally name the new assistant manager. I'm really, really hoping it is either CR! I mean, I would absolutely be okay with me getting the position, but being realistic, I think CR has it and I really hope that it is him!

So, lots of new and fun things in the works! Hopefully I will have more details to share with you all tomorrow!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Ho hum...

I woke up this morning all excited to find out what my new work schedule was and to find out who had been named the assistant manager. So, before I even got out of bed this morning, I sent a text message to my boss, B, to remind him to do something that he needs to remember to do outside of work. We're friends as well as boss/employee, and this particular reminder is kind of a running joke between us, but it is really important that he remembers to do this task every morning.

Here is our text convo from this morning:

Me: Mornin' sir! This is your weekday reminder. Did you remember already? I bet you did!

B: I did. You want to work anything today? [Gives some potential hours.]

Me: Good job! I will have to check on childcare and let you know. So when are you making new schedules?

B: This week. (This week's schedule technically began at 7am today, and he has yet to create the schedule.)

Me: [Hubby]'s mom wants to know what my new schedule is. Whether its days or evenings or whatever. I tried to explain but it didn't help.

B: I just don't know yet kiddo. Still a few days off. (He often calls me "kiddo" or "miss" though I am neither one of those - I am four years older than he is, for crying out loud!)

Me: Thought you were naming asst manager today?

B: Couple days still.

Me: What happened? You told [HRD-L] that you were naming today. So plan on same schedule this week as last? [List of hours]

B: Perfect. Yeah just let me know on today.
B: Haven't decided yet.

So, more waiting. Have I ever mentioned that I'm not a patient person? I mean, I really really try to be a patient person. I do. But I lack at it. Big time. Especially on big things like this. It's hard. Every time that I need to wait and be patient is simply another opportunity for me to perfect my ability to do so. And trust me - I need lots and lots of practice!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Goal 2: Make a Commitment to Daily Prayer

I love this goal and I am excited about doing it. I often do this while I am waking up. Nothing like having a nice conversation first thing in the morning before I even get out of bed. I haven't started the day yet, no one else is (usually) up, the house is quiet, nothing else has distracted me or anything like that. It is my time with Him and I love it!

While I may share a few items here and there along with my weekly goal posts, I may just indicate that I have done my daily prayers. Something along the lines of: Daily Prayer, check. Or if I get really fancy (and learn how to do it!) I may even have the check mark symbol in front of the item. I have a feeling that my weekly blog entries are going to look a little bit like a checklist of things to do...

Sunday (10th)
Daily Bible reading - check.
Daily prayer - check.
Dishes clean - check.
Little bathroom clean - check.

Monday (11th)
Daily Bible reading - check.
Daily prayer - check.
Dishes clean - check.
Little bathroom clean - didn't get it done. on and so forth. Actually, I kind of like that idea. It will keep me accountable. I can go in and create the post and then set it up to publish at the end of the week and I can simply update it each weekday with my check mark, comment or whatever the case may be. project for the day! Cool!

Goal 1, Week 2

You can read the first part of this post here. This is the list for Week Two of my goal for a Bible Reading Plan.

January - Week Two

10 - The Sons of Noah ... (Genesis 9:18-9:29)
11 - The Table of Nations ... (Genesis 10:1-10:32)
12 - The Tower of Babel ... (Genesis 11:1-32)
13 - The Call of Abram ... (Genesis 12:1-12:20)
14 - Abram and Lot Separate ... (Genesis 13:1-13:18)
15 - Abram Rescues Lot ... (Genesis 14:1-14:24)
16 - God's Covenant With Abram ... (Genesis 15:1-15:21)

Weekly Accountability Post 1

This is my accountability post for the first week of 2010. Well, technically for the first nine days of 2010. For this first post, I just want to make account for the goals that I set to see what I have accomplished, what needs work and to leave myself a record.

Week One:

1 - The Beginning ... (Genesis 1:1-2:3)

(1/2) I did not read this on January first. I got caught up on blogging and reading blogs and I put it off for the next day. Not exactly the way that I had planned on doing my first day of my first new goal, but my plan was to get it done on the second, and I did.

2 - Adam and Eve ... (Genesis 2:4-2:25)

(1/2) After reading "The Beginning," I went straight on to "Adam and Eve." The things that impressed on me today while reading this was the huge role that man was given from God. I mean, in the previous passage, it essentially summarizes all that God did during His time of creating. But this particular passage really goes into detail what happened on that sixth day of creation. I know, not a huge eye-opener, but it just really stood out to me today. Nearly every time I read different passages, different things really stand out for me. I think that's how we work towards understanding the text.

3 - The Fall of Man ... (Genesis 3:1-3:24)

(1/3) The one thing that stood out to me in this reading (and it may be because of a recent conversation that I read online) is that God specifically commands Adam to work the ground and that he will eat the plants of the ground. Recently, there has been a discussion about whether or not we are supposed to eat any animals. It is one thing that I will keep in mind while I am reading and see what the answer is. From this passage alone, it would seem that we (Adam and his descendants) are to eat plants from the ground. And fruit from trees as well. No mention yet on eating animals though.

4 - Cain and Abel ... (Genesis 4:1-4:26)

These two brothers remind me so much of the attitudes currently present in two of the brothers living in our home. I need to pray about this and have guidance on how to shape these boys' hearts for God. Hmmm...quite the assignment.

5 - From Adam to Noah ... (Genesis 5:1-5:32)

I know that these passages of genealogy are important ones to show the connections between creation and the birth of Jesus but at the same time, I know that I am not getting as much out of them as I probably should be. Anyone else find that they have this same problem?

6 - The Flood - Part 1 of 3 ... (Genesis 6:1-6:22)

God gave Noah very specific instructions on what he was supposed to do. I must admit that I wish God would sometimes give me instructions which are that specific. Although, I suppose He does. I'm reading His instructions now...

The other thing that stood out to me in this passage was that God instructed Noah to build this ark just after having decided to limit our lives to 120 years. Noah was old enough to have sons who were old enough to be married. So, he was probably 40ish or so (assuming Noah was married when he was 20 and his sons were just recently married, also at 20...) Building this ark would be no small feat to accomplish. But Noah was faithful and honored God's command. No wonder he was the only one who found favor with God. And how fortunate for his sons and their wives that they were favored simply by their father. Noah was a good man. Yet, we read so little of him. I wonder why that is.

7 - The Flood - Part 2 of 3 ... (Genesis 7:1-7:24)

Okay, I must admit that I am confused. In the previous passage, God was angry with man and said that he would number their days to 120 years. But in this passage, it says that when Noah was 600 years old that God created the flood. I don't want to make any assumptions but maybe Noah was already many years older than I previously thought when he received the command to build the ark. I cannot imagine someone in their seventies building this ark, much less in their five hundreds. And also to ask Noah to give up all of his friends and other family. Brothers and sisters and their families as well. Although back in chapter two, it did say that a man would leave his mother and father. So I suppose in Noah's case, it meant that he would REALLY leave them. Wow. How hard a request to grant, I'm sure. But Noah was committed to doing exactly what God asked, hence his status as the only one worth saving on all the earth.

8 - The Flood - Part 3 of 3 ... (Genesis 8:1-8:22)

Noah waited patiently (beyond patiently in my opinion) for God to tell him to come out of the ark. He didn't try to rush it, he just waited. He knew that God would remember him. You never read about Noah questioning God's faithfulness or lacking trust in God's plan. Even though what God asked Noah to do was incredibly difficult. Noah received instruction, obeyed, was patient and was rewarded. It seems so simple.

The one other thing in here that really stood out was Genesis 8:21 "The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done." The middle of that verse in particular "...every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood" That rather goes against what I had always thought of children being innocent. I mean, my own children are not innocent by any means. But to say that every inclination of their hearts are evil...hmm...that's quite the statement. I guess from God's perspective, absolutely. His standards for evil and righteous are so much more than our's are. So, from childhood, our hearts are rooted in evil. I guess that makes sense. That is why we needed Jesus. It isn't like we suddenly become in need of our Savior at age ten or whatever. We are in need of Him from our creation. Kind of a hard pill to swallow there, but I do understand it.

9 - God's Covenant With Noah ... (Genesis 9:1-9:17)

God gives Noah the entire earth. Noah is commanded to eat plants. He is also commanded to not eat meat that still has its lifeblood in it. So, that begins to answer my question from earlier this week about not eating meat. From my interpretation of this passage, we can eat meat that has been fully cooked only. God also made his covenant with Noah at this time and with all of the earth as well. Thank you to both of them...God and Noah both...for this covenant.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010


I had my interview for the assistant manager position today. It went fairly well, I think. It took FOREVER, but part of it is because B and I get off on tangents and end up talking about other stuff here and there.

I had told him on Monday that I thought I had 0.6% of a chance of getting the job. He said, "Not even a whole percent? Oh come on now, Miss. You need to give yourself more credit that that! I'd give ya at least 5%."

Cool. I'm at 5% before the interview even starts. During the course of the interview, he tells me "I'd say that you have 5%, CA has 5%, and then CJ and CR can split the other 80%" That equals up to 90%. I give him a look, trying to figure out if he's trying to indicate something else. He catches my look and says, "That doesn't add up to 100, does it?" I tell him no and ask him if CA and I can split the other 10% then. He says, "No, if anything, I'd say CA still gets 5%, you can have the 15%, and CJ and CR can still have the other 40% apiece. Although, actually, I guess it'd be more like 45 and 35. One of them made me really mad. You never do..." (x,y,z) "and expect to get away with it." I'm not quite following the thought, so I say, "I didn't do (x,y,z) did I?" He said, "No. I'm not mentioning names but it did happen today and it wasn't you." Process of elimination would mean that it was CJ. Okay. So, at this point the score is CA - 5, me - 15, CJ - 35, CR - 45 = 100. Cool enough. I can handle that.

The interview continues. He tells me, "Well Miss, you're surprising me. I'd say you're at 33 and a third now. And we only have 3 applicants." I look at him funny again. Three? A little bit ago, there were four. He looks at me and notices the look again. "There's four. I forgot about CA. She is so not going to get the position. I keep forgetting about her. Although maybe she will surprise me and end up getting it. Who knows?"

Interview goes on a bit longer. The personnel director from the main office calls. He talks to her about the position. He talks to her about me. While I'm sitting there in the office with him. It's good. It sounds very good. "Well, I had one interview today. She was a long shot but she's really impressive. Only been with the company for two weeks." pause while HRD-L speaks, "Yeah, I know. All of our applicants are still in their probationary period yet." Technically all but CA...but he doesn't tell HRD-L that...but then again, he keeps forgetting about CA.

After his conversation with HRD-L, we end the interview. He ends the interview by telling me, "Well, I'd say it's pretty much just between you and CR now." Then he gets a sly grin and says, "Although maybe I should just pick CA and (mess) you all over." Parenthesis and word in the middle are mine.

So, I think the interview went pretty well overall. Sounds like it is pretty much between me and CR. CJ and CA are long shots, but then again, I was the longest of the long shots. I was the one who encouraged CA to apply in the first place when B was first accepting applications. I had been rooting for CR the whole time, and encouraging CR and CJ individually while we were working shifts together. I am totally okay with CR getting the position. I don't think CJ has some of the major qualities necessary for an assistant manager. And I think CA is too young and immature for the job. But those are just my own personal opinions. No matter who is named the assistant manager, I will respect them, and I will respect B's decision about the matter. My top choice is CR, next CJ, then CA. I don't know where I put myself on that list though. I just don't really see it as a real possibility. I looked at the whole interview as a practice session for later on when I am a real candidate and as a confidence booster too. :) It was nice to know that my manager thinks that highly of me and my work performance.