Finish It Friday

Well, it's Friday again, isn't it? That means it is time for me to finish something. And actually, I have a few things to finish.

I need to finish my guest list for a party that I'm hosting at the beginning of March. I need to finish up the den. It is so close! Just a few more tweaks (as there are some things that we have learned along the way that we are adjusting to) and we will be done with this room. It won't seem like a huge change, I imagine, but it really is for us.

I also need to finish up laundry and helping my kids rearrange their bedroom furniture. Although that is more of a finish-it project for this weekend. I have decided that I am going to give my kids full reign in their rooms to decide what furniture they want in there and where they want it to be located. And I'm also going to give them a few other options where their rooms are concerned. I'm hoping that by doing this, it will give the boys a greater sense of pride in their rooms, as well as a sense of ownership, you know? So, we will see how that one goes.

Since today is Friday, it also means that I get to teach in the third grade math classroom again. And I am excited! The math teacher and I are going to be running centers. She will be working with kids on a worksheet and teaching them to measure to the nearest inch and to the nearest inch and a half. I will be working with them on the same thing or on math facts. I don't care which one I will be doing. I do like pull apart groups though to really get to know how the kids are each doing, find out where they are struggling and to help them really get to the point of understanding what is being taught. I honestly which that the teacher would do her re-teaching on Fridays so that either she or I could re-teach the concept to the kids who need extra practice on previous lessons. I really like to teach/re-teach. I also happen to think its beneficial to have someone else re-teach. Different people explain the same concept in different ways and sometimes that just helps. Other times it can just be more confusing, but for the most part, I think it helps.

Now, as to Katie's assignment for today...how did she know? The assignment for today is to: "go to your laundry area/room. Collect up all of the empty soap bottles, empty dryer sheet boxes and any other garbage that may be floating around that area. If you're like me, you empty one out with the intent on taking it to the recycling bin or trash can in the other room and there it remains. While you're in there, take a quick inventory. Are you low on anything? If so, make a note on your shopping list so that you don't forget them when you next go shopping." But yes, I am guilty of having three (no, not one, not two, but THREE!) empty bottles of detergent sitting on my dryer. Or rather I was guilty of it until just a few minutes ago. In spite of the fact that right next to my dryer is a trash can. (Which is also now empty, by the way) But I had used up the last of the detergent (three times in a row) and had planned to take the bottles up to the recycling bin outside, but I never got around to it. But now I have, it's done and I'm glad to know that. It was also good to be able to note that I am close to being out of detergent yet again. So I will have to pick some up this weekend when I go to the grocery store.

And for now, I am going to get to bed. I am tired! Have a great Friday everyone!

Time For Me Thursday

Well, today was a really interesting day for me, as a co-worker called into work yesterday while I was still there (she works the overnight shift - 11pm to 7am) and one of the second shift guys said that he could stay until 1am. Another co-worker offered to work 1am to 5am, and then I had agreed to come in and work 5am to 5pm. Just two hours more than my usual Thursday shift.

But...we had Chinese food yesterday while we were working - and it didn't sit well with me. To the extent that I ended up in the hospital overnight due to dehydration and some serious arrhythmia going on. So, since I didn't get out of the hospital until like 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning, I didn't go to work. While I was at the hospital, I had a shot of something to help me with the nausea and vomitting - and it also happened to be a sedative as well. Which does not work out well for me in the first place. I rarely take medications, so any medicine has a super strong effect on me. And this sedative was no different.

I guess my breathing was all wonky - I'd drop to around 5 respirations per minute and stay there for quite some time (don't know - as I don't remember it myself - just what Hubby told me) and my heart was doing weird things too. So, anyhow...I'm guessing that you are wondering what I did for ME today, right?

Well, I'll tell ya. I slept in until 1pm. Then once I was awake, I stayed in bed, on the computer, and eventually watched a movie too. I began to feel much better, so I ended up being able to keep up my commitment for playing cards tonight. And that was GREAT! I had my best night since I started playing. I had our team high point total of 9 points! And you can only get to an odd number by one way - skunking the opponent. And I did. I skunked the one person that my team captain (aka my manager at work) wanted me to win against the most. It was great! And I also won (with nearly a skunk) against the one other person that he also wanted me to win against. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was nice - really nice.

And - I took part in Katie's assignment today - "to go to your desk and sort through the papers that may be lying there. Recycle what you don't need and file what you do." I did that and my desk is nice and neat, again where it has been recently. I haven't been home much and admittedly, I have tossed papers there with the intent of dealing with them later - and well, thanks to Katie, later happened to be today!

Blah, worries and vents...

I updated my Facebook status earlier this week saying: "Deanne is feeling very down today. It's been quite the week and tensions have been high. Take a moment, breathe and relax. Repeat as often as necessary." and it's true. Things are really tense. Not between the Hubby and myself, well maybe some...or actually maybe quite a bit to be honest. But that's not the biggest part of it all - it's really a sum of many different things.

The first thing and probably the biggest thing is that Hubby has lost his job. According to the lady (who wasn't actually his boss but yet was the one who fired him) he wasn't meeting expectations. Which, quite frankly, is near impossible with his job situation as it was. Basically, he had two bosses - DV and AM. AM is the person who facilitated the grant that paid Hubby. He was working for a non-profit organization and pretty much all of the employees are paid for by grants from one place or another. The person in the non-profit who actually received the grant on behalf of the non-profit is DV, who was technically Hubby's supervisor. So, he had a boss and a supervisor. And he had expectations from each of them. Then there is the lady who fired Hubby. She isn't his boss, but she is the boss of DV, so DV kind of needed to go along with what DD wanted or she could be in trouble as well. It's really complicated and messy. But basically, DD also had another set of expectations for Hubby as well. One of which was for him to work 60+ hour weeks on salary pay - even though he is only REQUIRED to work 42ish hour weeks, per AM. But even apart from that - DD also rarely spent any time with Hubby actually knowing what was going on, yet felt like she had enough knowledge of what was happening or wasn't happening to make a decision on his employment status. But that isn't even all of it yet. Enter into the picture the founder of the non-profit, BB. BB is the founder, yet she is the assistant to DD as far as daily operations go. Kind of weird? And BB kept throwing additional responsibilities at Hubby too. To the point where there is a running joke of "this is your new first priority" because she is known to say that four or five times within one conversation. I like this lady a lot but I think she expected too much. And to add to matters, DD and BB rarely agree on subjects. It was an insanely difficult situation for Hubby, but he did really well with it. He tried to fulfill everyone's expectations and in the end, the only person he was not able to please was DD.

But anyhow, this whole thing has put a lot of stress on us - while he was going through it (and while I was too - as I often would go out to his work and give him a hand to help ease some of the workload - and it worked well for the non-profit as well - to have another "community volunteer") and in a way, it's a blessing that it's over. Because it was hard - incredibly hard and difficult. But now, even though the day-to-day stress of that job is over, so is the income that the job provided. And that is also hard.

I am working full-time. I work two 8-hour days and two 10-hour days. And then I have a three day weekend. I really like having a three day weekend, but I'm thinking that I might need to go ahead and buckle down and work five days a week instead of four - for a running total of 44 hours a week. That's what I am doing this week. And even if I do that on a regular basis - it still won't be enough since I only make minimum wage. So there is stress there too.

Another item is that with my increased workload, I am home less. One big thing was for me to be working while the kids were in school, so that I could be home and taking care of them to get them back into obedience again. The more that I work and the less that I am home during their non-school hours, the more disobedient they have been. But at the same time, my manager's rule is that except for himself - no employee can have a full 40 hour work week unless they work weekends. Hence my regular schedule of 36 hours a week - over four days. I told my manager that I'd rather work 36 hours and have a three day weekend, than to 40 hours and have to lose a weekend day. I have four kids and a husband. I am the only employee at my work who is married - and only one of two that has at least one kid. I made the sacrifice of 4 hours in order to be here with the kids. I made the sacrifice of working longer days in order to get as close as possible to working 40 hours. But I made these arrangements when Hubby was still working. And now, he's not. I could talk to my manager about taking on the weekend overnight hours - something that I really don't want to do because it would really mess with my schedule and since I was hospitalized in the last year and since I know that I am susceptible to depression, I really don't want to do that.

So, I'm struggling to find balance right now. Work, kids, volunteering, home, finances, relationships... Admittedly, these stresses have put some tension between Hubby and I - or at least we have allowed it to put some tension between us. Because truly we have. I have been exhausted. Plus we have had sick kids, Hubby and I were both sick the week prior to that and it's just been a lot to handle and deal with.

I've also been dealing with a lot of temptation lately to do things that I know I don't really want to do - things that would make me happy in the very immediate time, but would be devastating in the long run. I try to remain focused on the big picture, but sometimes the here and now is pretty appealing, you know? And I share this on here because if I talk about it, I'm less likely to do something that I know I shouldn't do. And no, it's not anything illegal or would be damaging to my marriage or to my family, but it's something that still just wouldn't be good.

I'm really trying hard to get this all straightened out in my head and in my heart. I'm having more difficulty figuring out what I can do to make things better - to make them right. And I know that it's not all on me - but I have a hard time giving up the control too - and I think part of that comes from the unstable life I grew up in. I learned early on through my own life experiences the old adage, "If you want anything done right, you have to do it yourself" and while I know that is not true - and that I do need to lean on others more (specifically God and Hubby) it's also very hard to let go of that. So I'm working on that.

New Names for the Kiddos

Okay, so I'm done with the generic Boy A, Boy B, Boy C and Girlie names that I have been using for the kiddos. From now on, they will be known as the following:

Natty-Nu is my 9 year old, formerly known as Boy A

JoNo is my 6 year old, formerly known as Boy B

Punky is my 3 year old, formerly known as Girlie

and for Boy C...hmm...erm...yeah, I'm not quite there yet...I'll come up with something. For the other kids, it was easy - I call the oldest Natty-Nu when I'm being affectionate - it's a loving pet name. JoNo is the online personality I have given to child 2, Punky is a shortened version of Girlie's nickname in real life. I used to call her Pumpkin Pie and when I would call the youngest brother Pumpkin Pie she would get mad and say, "NO! I'm PUNKY PIE!" Which was absolutely adorable and of course, Punky has stuck.

But now for Boy C...I just don't know. I just asked Hubby about this too - and he couldn't come up with another nickname for the boy either. So...I give it to you, my blog readers. Please give me your ideas for a blog name for this child:



Post a comment and I will choose the one that I think best suits him. If there are multiple ones that I like, I will use a random number generator to pick the name. And there will be a prize. Not sure what the prize will be yet, but there will be a prize involved. Enter as many suggestions as you'd like.

Tackle Part Duex

Okay, so I didn't get anything on my list done that I had planned on with the exception of some laundry and work. I totally forgot when I posted my list that I had scheduled two parent-teacher conferences for today. Both of which I attended - and both of which went really well. The only part of it that went maybe not-so-well was when Boy A's teachers told me that he really needed to work on getting his homework assignments turned in. Apparently, since I have started working, his assignments have not been making it to school - and some of them aren't even making it home at night either. So, I need to set up a better system - with his help, of course - to make sure that he is being responsible for his own assignments, getting them done and turned in on time.

Also, his regular math teacher (who is actually the computer teacher who happened to be teaching third grade math as well) is on leave right now due to health concerns. So, she has a long-term sub filling in - Mrs. I. I took the time to meet with Mrs. I today and to talk to her about Boy A. She and I talked for a bit about Boy A and different things related to his learning style, her teaching style, etc. Once she found out that I have taught in that particular classroom, she opened up quite a bit more and expressed concerns over getting the kids to listen etc. So I offered to come in on Fridays (my day off from work) to help her out - give her some time to re-teach or for her to teach and for me to re-teach, help out with classroom management and things like that. I love love love working in the classroom and I am once again tempted about seeing about getting a job through our school system as a para-educator.

So, anyhow, beginning this Friday, I will be helping out in third grade math once again and I am so excited for this opportunity to help her out, work with the students and to just be there with the kids in the classroom. So much fun and so exciting!

Tackle It Tuesday

Well, here we are and it's once again Tuesday. I haven't been very good about doing these weekly themed postings, but I think that will get better soon because of the fact that I no longer have to fight for an ethernet cable. But anyhow, part of my tackle for today is to clear as many post-it notes off of my desktop that I can:



And then the other part of my tackle will be to (specifically) clear out, clean and organize one cupboard in my kitchen. I have before pics of all the cupboard and cabinet insides, but I want to get at least ONE of them done tomorrow - completely and totally done. That's my big tackle - it goal. I just don't know which one I am going to choose just yet though.

(And as you can see, the date and time stamp on my computer were forged for this...I just simply put the date ahead so that I could do a scheduled post...I'm not likely to get on the computer and write up a post in the morning when I have to try to get four kids, Hubby and myself, up, dressed and out the door by 6:30 a.m. I may be a blogging mom, but I'm not superwoman. :)

Menu Plan Monday

Well, I wasn't going to do it, but then here at the last minute, I decided that I would after all, so here goes:

Monday: homemade chicken noodle soup

Tuesday: beef roast with mashed potatoes

Wednesday: lasagna and green beans (GFCF enchilada meal for Boy C)

Thursday: leftovers

Friday: homemade pizzas

Saturday: chicken dinner bake over rice(basically find a mish mash of items, throw them together in a casserole dish with some chicken and put it in the oven until it's done)

Sunday: spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread